Ugly mom passes "Frankenstein complex" gene to daughter

Mother Of The Year

Alicia Douvall is a "glamour model" in the UK and probably one of the ugliest whores I've seen in a while. She makes Paris Hilton look like Mother Theresa. Somehow, Alicia has managed to have over 50 plastic surgeries in between getting drunk almost every night and having sex with entire municipalities. Alicia has had 12 surgeries on her tits alone and she's going in for another one, because she's either, not happy with the results or her doctor uses her as a practice dummy.
Mommy dearest has decided to put the kibosh on her 12-year-old daughter, Georgia's wish for a boob job on her 13th Birthday. Some girls want Hannah Montana shit and some want new tits! Apparently, the daughter has been enjoying pole-dancing lessons from a jolly old man in a red suit since Xmas. You got to start them young nowadays.
Alicia told Closer Magazine (via The Sun), "Georgia wrote a little birthday wish-list for her 13th birthday later this month and on it was Kate Moss perfume, an iPhone and a boob job." Georgia said that she thinks it's normal to have plastic surgery, because her mom has had it.
Alicia will get her daughter a boob job, but only when she turns 16. "I think a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model as long as she's managed well. That's why I'm happy for Georgia to have a boob job because it will give her a career. She's been at a modeling agency since she was about six. She'll be more famous than Britney!"
Where's that mother of the year award?! The competition is over. Here's the winner!

Over-the-counter DNA test signals the end for Maury

No longer will people need to go on morning talk shows to find out who their babydaddy is!
New technology has now created an over the counter DNA testing kit!!
The Identigene DNA Testing Collection Kit is being sold at local drugstores.
Can you imagine how many great YouTube videos will come as a result of this???
The test is easy to administer. Both the child and suspected babydaddy just need to pass a cotton swab, included in the kit, along the inside of their cheek.
Currently, the kit is being sold at Rite Aid and Meijer stores and is located near the home pregnancy tests. And, if your local store doesn't carry the testing kits, you can also order them online!
Who do U think will be the next celeb that will have to purchase one?
Trailer parks across America are so happy with this new development!

evading responsibities since 1863?

I'm proud to be black but I like it when photogs lighten my skin and tone down my afrocentric features because it fools you into believing I'm not bitter like most other black people, then, when you least expect it: I speak like a typical moron.

Most celebrities are surrounded and coddled by a pit crew of PR people, because most celebrities in real life are mentally unstable basket cases who are so painfully oblivious to reality that they need constant supervision. Otherwise, they agree to be interviewed by Blender Magazine and say stuff like this:

The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: "'Gangsta rap' was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. 'Gangsta rap' didn't exist." Keys, 27, said she's read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck "to symbolize strength, power and killing 'em dead," according to an interview in the magazine's May issue, on newsstands Tuesday. Another of her theories: The bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing."

Keys' AK-47 jewelry came as a surprise to her mother, who is quoted as telling Blender: "She wears what? That doesn't sound like Alicia." Keys' publicist, Theola Borden, said Keys was on vacation and unavailable for comment.Though she's known for her romantic tunes, she told Blender that she wants to write more political songs. If black leaders such as the late Black Panther Huey Newton "had the outlets our musicians have today, it'd be global. I have to figure out a way to do it myself," she said.The multiplatinum songstress behind the hits "Fallin'" and "No One" most recently had success with her latest CD, "As I Am," which sold millions.

Hmm, I may have to go back and listen to my Ice-T CDs again, because I'm pretty sure he said something about a Mac-10 and killing cops. And I might be mistaken, but I don't think NWA was originally a vocal harmony group before they caved in to government pressure. Man, it must be nice to be like Alicia Keys and read something then instantly believe it's true. That would be cool. Yeah, like when someone says Alicia Keys is a bigoted moron.