Everything annoys me except the sound of my own voice.

This is so confusing. Everyone sounds like cats being slapped against a chalkboard. I was rudely awakened by a horrific earthquake at 4:30am. My family thinks I'm a tyrant. And gas is $3+ per gallon. The only shining lights in this shit-storm of a life, are my son coming to visit and the 420 holiday weekend. Eventually, 420 will come to be a Federal holiday; once everyone realizes how great ganj is for morale. We might be too stoned to win any wars but we won't be compelled to start any, either.

Speaking of wars, the NBA playoffs start tomorrow. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the winner of the Suns - Spurs matchup, in the west, will be the champ. The addition of the "Big Stupid" to the Suns roster makes them, in my eyes, the favorite to take the title.

Now, here's something to talk about; Monday, June 16, will be the season 4 premiere of my favorite television show, "Weeds", starring Mary-Louise Parker.

For those of you out of the loop, "Weeds" is a dark comedy TV show about a widowed suburban housewife from the affluent, albeit, fictional town of Agrestic who becomes a marijuana-dealer to support her family.

This show has everything: humor, violence, drugs, and sex; and the music is pretty good.

Be sure to check it out.

I'm gonna count how many things fit into my cat's butt. I leave you, once again, with more butts from a local thong contest.