Is that a wet-nap or a condom?

R.I.P. Gereme

2008-07-05T17:50:00.000-07:00

In Memory of an aunt, an uncle, and a great-grandmother for mother's day

2008-05-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

5 Psychological Experiments That Prove Humanity is Doomed

2008-05-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

You've gotta read this shit, it scared the hell outta me. Cracked.com is funny and informative. Just got done reading '5 Psychological Experiments That Prove Humanity is Doomed'. I realize we're just a herd of cattle, but considering actual scientific proof that supports this; it's spine-tingling.

Check out the Stanford Prison Experiment Website and the wikipedia page is informative as well.

It's Only Make-Believe

2008-05-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

The myth of Elvis Presley looms large in popular culture. Not only did he play a key role in the birth of rock 'n' roll music--thereby forever changing the course of American history--Tupelo's most famous son became the embodiment of everything both glorious and tragic about stardom in the late 20th century. If the years since Presley's passing have taught us anything, it's that his legacy has only grown. He may have been massively, unprecedentedly popular before, but it was only in death that he could truly become a symbol, an icon to be worshipped and desecrated in equal measure. Nothing quite offers a testament to Presley's iconic status like the proliferation of impersonators who've flourished in the years since The King's death. No other performer has inspired this kind of tribute, or at least to such an enormous degree.

Looking at these impersonators, we might find that Presley's own tragic story is repeated in miniature, dozens of times over. At least in the case of one such artist--who perhaps ironically insisted he wasn't imitating Elvis--the story is arguably even more tragic and without a doubt far stranger...(more)

Check out Charlie the Unicorn

2008-05-06T05:13:00.000-07:00

My youngest daughter, Lily, showed me this great video. It's about these two gay unicorns that pester this other unicorn named Charlie.

You can check out more Charlie the Unicorn and other hilarious stuff @ Filmcow.com.

Have fun!

Some scary shit about Obama

2008-05-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

I don't agree with everything in this video, but this is enough to consider, maybe he ain't the right man for the job. Come on fence-sitters and guilt-ridden white people, do not elect this man in November.

Redd Kross - Redd Blood Cells

2008-04-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

Spent the last coupla days searching music blogs because my neighbor is a 'denim-skirt-to-the-floor-wearing' Pentacostal bitch who has a strange affinity for rapping her hairy man-knuckles against the adjoining wall in our "Section 8's Welcomed" duplex whenever any electrtronic device in my house registers a sound above the magnetostriction hum of the electrical transformers inside my stereo. Therefore, instead of recording my own album of future classics, I sit with headphones perched while trying to maintain peace with my neighbors.

Found something I can't believe I missed; Steve McDonald, bassist for Redd Kross, put bass guitar on the White Stripes, 'De Stijl' cd. Been listenin' to 'Dead Leaves & the Dirty Ground' (with bass) & Scarlett Johannson 'Anywhere I Lay My Head' non-stop. This really is a good day. I think I'll mow my neighbor's lawn.

'HIGH' School - A curriculum that even I can follow

2008-04-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

OAKLAND, Calif. -- You know you're in a different kind of college when a teaching assistant sets five marijuana plants down in the middle of a lab and no one blinks a bloodshot eye. Welcome to Oaksterdam University, a new trade school where "higher education" takes on a whole new meaning. The school prepares people for jobs in California's thriving medical marijuana industry.

6 Secret Societies We All Know About

2008-04-29T11:18:00.000-07:00

1. The Freemasons
This is the granddaddy of all not-so-secret secret societies. Freemasonry, or “The Craft” as its members call it, most likely has its roots in 17th-century stoneworkers’ guilds. Mason lore, however, extends its origins back to biblical times, linking the society to the building of the Temple of Solomon. Freemasonry is split into numerous subgroups and orders, all of which consider God the Grand Geometrician, or Grand Architect of the Universe. At their hearts, these groups are all means of exploring ethical and philosophical issues, and their rituals and symbols are famous (or infamous). Take, for instance, the square-and-compass logo often seen on the backs of Cadillacs. Or the use of secret handshakes, passwords, and greeting postures/gestures called “due guards,” all collectively known as the Modes of Recognition. The list of famous Masons is massive, a virtual Who’s Who of modern history, explaining the many conspiracy theories regarding the Masons’ influence and intentions. Mozart, FDR, Harry S. Truman, George Washington, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Benjamin Franklin, John Wayne, W. C. Fields, and Douglas MacArthur were all Masons. But perhaps the Masons’ greatest strides have been made in fast food: KFC’s Colonel Sanders and Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas knew how to secret-shake with the best of ’em.

2. The Illuminati
Over the centuries, lots of groups have called themselves the Illuminati (“Enlightened Ones”), but the one we’re talking about here began as the Bavarian Illuminati. A radical product of the Enlightenment and offshoot of the religion-based Freemasons, the Illuminati espoused secular freethinking and intellectualism and proved a threat to Europe’s old order. Although they were officially banned by the Bavarian government in 1784, some claim that they live on to this day in other guises. So, what’s the Illuminati’s goal? To establish a new world order of capitalism and authoritarianism, of course! They’ve been accused of manipulating currencies, world stock markets, elections, assassinations, and even of being aliens. One common myth is that the eye-and-pyramid image on the dollar bill is a symbol of the Illuminati watching over us. Nope. It’s a symbol of strength and durability (though unfinished, symbolizing growth and change), and the all-seeing eye represents the divine guidance of the American cause. Or so the government says.

3. Opus Dei

This organization has a $42 million, 17-story headquarters building on Lexington Avenue in New York City, claims 85,000 members in 60 countries, and was featured in Dan Brown’s bestseller The Da Vinci Code. Now that its existence has been significantly unsecretized, this ultraorthodox Catholic sect has definitely raised its share of eyebrows. Founded in 1928 by Saint Josemaría Escrivá (a Spanish priest who bore an uncanny resemblance to Karl Malden), Opus Dei is the short name for the Prelature for the Holy Cross and the Work of God. The sect (some would say cult) stresses a return to traditional Catholic orthodoxy and behavior, especially celibacy, with members falling into one of three levels. Numeraries live in Opus Dei facilities, devote their time and money to the prelature, attend mass daily, and engage in mortification of the flesh (wearing a spiked chain around the thigh called a cilice, taking cold showers, or flagellating themselves with a knotted rope called “the discipline”). Next come Associates (kind of like Numeraries, but living “off campus”), then Supernumeraries (the rank-and-file members). The group did gain the praise of Pope John Paul II, and has engaged in a lot of charity work. Yet, critics accuse the group of being linked to fascist organizations like Franco’s government in Spain, and of anti-Semitism and intolerance, even of other Catholics.

4. Skull and Bones
Top dog among all the collegiate secret societies, Yale’s Skull and Bones dates to 1832 and goes by other spooky names like Chapter 322 and the Brotherhood of Death. With a large number of Bonesmen who have attained positions of power, including the president and the head of the CIA, it’s no wonder that rumors abound that the society is hell-bent on obtaining power and influencing U.S. foreign policy. The fact that they meet in an imposing templelike building on the Yale campus called (what else?) the Tomb doesn’t really help. Bonesmen are selected, or “tapped,” during their junior year and can reveal their membership only after they’ve graduated. But they can never talk about it. The Bones have been accused of all sorts of crazy rituals and conspiracies, including drug smuggling and the assassination of JFK (a hated Hahvahd man, after all). It’s even rumored that the skull of Geronimo resides in the Tomb, stolen from its resting place by Prescott Bush, Dubya’s granddad. In one of the more commonly known rituals, the initiate spends all night naked in an open coffin, confessing all his sexual experiences to the group. So, who’s lucky enough to have made such a confession? George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush, John Kerry, William Howard Taft, McGeorge Bundy, William F. Buckley, and Henry Luce are just a few.

5. The Bohemian Club
This is a weird one. In the majestic forests of Sonoma County north of San Francisco lies the Bohemian Grove, the 2,700-acre wooded retreat of the Bohemian Club, the nation’s most exclusive men’s club. Every July since 1879, the “Bohos” have gathered at the Grove for a two-week encampment, where they’re divided into more than 100 residential camps with names like Owl’s Nest, Cave Man, and Lost Angels. Membership has included, well, just about everybody important: Ronald Reagan, Dwight Eisenhower, Richard Nixon (who once called it “faggy”), Gerald Ford, Colin Powell, Dick Cheney, and many CEOs and wealthy business leaders like Malcolm Forbes. Each encampment opens with a robed-and-hooded ceremony called the Cremation of Care, in which an effigy called “Dull Care” (symbolizing worldly concerns) is burned before a 40- foot concrete statue of an owl, symbol of wisdom and the club’s mascot. Throughout the week, plays are staged (called High Jinx and Low Jinx), there’s lots of eating and drinking (and, reportedly, urinating on trees), and members are treated to speeches called Lakeside Talks. Some opponents go so far as to accuse the group of Satanism, witchcraft, homosexuality, and prostitution, while more reasonable observers object to the Lakeside Talks as national policy discussions to which the public is not privy. But above all, it’s seen as a way that some of the elite meet others of the elite, thereby ensuring that they’ll all stay elite. All this makes the club’s seemingly anticonspiratorial slogan—“Weaving spiders, come not here”—that much more ironic.

6. The Trilateral Commission
While not, on its face, as juicily sinister as some of the other societies on this list, the Trilateral Commission has been accused of all sorts of underhanded shenanigans by its critics. Formed in 1973 by David Rockefeller, the Commission includes over 300 prominent citizens from Europe, Asia, and North America in a forum for discussing the regions’ common interests. But conspiracy theorists hold that the Trilateral Commission, along with the Council on Foreign Relations and others, is really just a front for a larger, more sinister order called the Round Table Groups, founded in London over 100 years ago and bent on the creation of a new world order, a global capitalist police state. Yikes! (For the record, some saythe Round Table Groups are themselves just fronts for another society, the Illuminati, so who knows?) American members of the Trilateral Commission have included Bill Clinton, Henry Kissinger, Jimmy Carter, Dick Cheney, and Dianne Feinstein.
This list was taken from Forbidden Knowledge

Fuck You! Scarlett Johannson is hot.

2008-04-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

All the reviews I've seen for Scarlett Johannson's new album are terrible.

Fuck the reviews, after sampling a couple of tracks, 'falling down' and 'wherever i lay my head'; here's a review: "They are both awesome".

I'm sensing a Velvet Underground & Nico vibe. I understand that her voice is not the greatest. I just like the presentation and feel of the arrangements.

I've taken the liberty of procuring a video, presented for your approval.

Smurfs make me happy (satan works in mysterious ways)

2008-04-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

They say a smurf is 3 apples high. Well, I stacked up 3 apples, and measured them. It was 9 inches. Then I looked for a picture of Gargamel next to a smurf so I could compare. Turns out that Gargamel is only 15 apples high, a mere 3' 9"!!! You'd think he wouldn't spend so much time trying to eradicate the only people that could make a shrimp like him look like a giant, un-short type person..

Mental Floss prevents gingivitis

2008-04-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

Took this 80's quiz@ MentalFloss and did pretty well. Without giving away my age, let's just say, I was alive in the 80's but still proud of my respectable 80%.

I thought you might like to check it out. I'm gonna go take the Saved by the Bell quiz right now.

Society Today: Men always pay the price

2008-04-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

MILLVILLE - After a 15-year wait and at least $10,000 in child-support payments, Mark Spaid was thrilled to be going in for a DNA test.
In 1992, Pennsylvania courts declared him the legal father of his wife's infant daughter even though he knew he was sterile, having had a vasectomy more than two years before the birth.

To the legal system, Spaid's inability to father children meant little when it came to determining who should be responsible for the child's care. In Pennsylvania, like most states, a "presumption of paternity" trumps everything.
The doctrine, with roots in English common law, assumes a husband is the legal father of any child born during his marriage. It's designed to preserve marriage and make sure children's financial and emotional needs are provided for.
But it has also embittered untold numbers of men across the nation who are required to support kids fathered by other men.

Lindsey Sloane - that other chick in those movies

2008-04-29T08:20:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I see this cute girl in movies and I wonder why she isn't more famous. She seems to be a capable actress. Come on, Keanu Reeves is a terrible actor but people love his movies. I decided this girl requires further investigation. Her name is Lindsey Sloane and she has 40+ credits on IMDB.

She doesn't normally appear in shitty movies but most of her work has been on tv. OMGWTF! I just realized that she's that chick from Sabrina the Teenage Witch; not the chubby blonde that played Sabrina.

Anyway, here's an interesting clip of her playing a fluffer on a porn set. For anyone who doesn't know; a fluffer is a hired member of the crew of a pornographic movie whose role on the set is to sexually arouse the male participants prior to the filming of scenes requiring erections.

source: AtomFilms FShare

Here is Lindsay lookin' hot in some movie.

Ron Paul knows our pain and has a prescription to help

2008-04-29T05:26:00.000-07:00

The writing below is from Ron Paul's weekly column called Texas Straight Talk.
Politicizing Pain
K.K. Forss does not claim medical marijuana solves all his problems. His pain from a ruptured disc in his neck is debilitating. He is unable to go to work or to the First Baptist Church he used to attend because of the pain and muscle spasms. Taxpayers through Medicare spend over $18,000 a year on his various medications. Half of those drugs are strong narcotics. The other half address the various side-effects brought on by the first half, such as nausea, heartburn, heart palpitations, difficulty sleeping, and muscle spasms.
No, marijuana would not completely address all his pain, but it made a tremendous difference in the quality of his life when he tried it for over a year. It helped him regain 38 pounds he had lost. It calmed his muscle spasms and helped him sleep. In short, it alleviated many side effects and greatly reduced his need for other expensive medications. Mr. Forss estimates that being allowed to use medical marijuana would save taxpayers at least $12,000 a year in medications he would no longer need. He would also be able to work occasionally and attend some church services.
Scientists at the University of California at Davis recently completed a study that backs up Mr. Forss's experience, finding that cannabis demonstrates significant relief of neuropathic pain. Many in government call for more studies while people like K.K. Forss suffer. More studies will not change what many patients already know, and that is for some, medical marijuana helps their pain. But over-reaching government gets in the way.
K.K. Forss lived in constant fear of federal and state officials so he eventually stopped taking medical marijuana and switched to his more rigorous and expensive pill regimen. Presently, twelve states have passed legislation allowing marijuana, under certain conditions, to be prescribed legally by doctors for patients who could benefit from it. K.K. Forss lives in Minnesota, where it is not yet legal. However, even if it is legalized by the state, Mr. Forss will still have plenty to fear from the Federal government, as cannabis dispensaries and clinics that operate under these state laws are still under fire from the Drug Enforcement Administration.
In other words, the federal government sees fit to use our tax dollars to raid state sanctioned healthcare clinics, to imprison and fine patients and operators, in order to compel people like Mr. Forss to be bedridden and overmedicated at great taxpayer expense every single day.
The Federal government should recognize that states have the authority to decide these issues. This affords all states the opportunity to see which policies are most beneficial. As a Congressman and a physician, I strongly advocate that healthcare decisions should be made by doctors and patients, not politicians or federal agents, which is why I am an original co-sponsor of the recently introduced "Medical Marijuana Patient Protection Act" which would bar the Federal government from intervening in such doctor/patient relationships that violate no state law.
The bottom line is that K.K. Forss should be treated as a free American. Mr. Forss is one of many who would like to use marijuana medicinally because it helps him. Politicians and bureaucrats have no right to interfere.

Mudcrutch featuring Tom Petty

2008-04-28T13:00:00.000-07:00

Mudcrutch was a rock band from Gainesville, FL best known for being the forerunner of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Mudcrutch was formed in 1970 by Tom Petty (bass and vocals), Tom Leadon(guitar and vocals), Randall Marsh (drums) and Mike Campbell (guitar). Leadon left the band in 1972 and was replaced by guitarist/vocalist Danny Roberts. The line-up was completed with addition of keyboardist Benmont Tench. In 1974, Mudcrutch signed with Shelter Records and re-located to LA. They released one single, "Depot Street", in 1975 which failed to chart. The band broke up later that year. Petty, Campbell and Tench went on to form the Heartbreakers in 1976 with fellow Gainesville natives Stan Lynch and Ron Blair.

In August 2007, the original members of Mudcrutch reunited and recorded an album for release in 2008. Mudcrutch will be released on April 29th, by Reprise Records, and contains 14 old and new tracks. "We would play and then we would just talk about the old days," says Tom Leadon, who left the band in 1972. The band will embark on a small tour in California to promote the album on April 12th.

I was lucky enough to get a pre-release copy today and I am quite happy with the results. Tom Petty has still got "it"; whatever it is that makes him so appealing.

Mandy Moore takes it all off and makes Umbrella worth listening to

2008-04-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

I thought, from day one, that Umbrella by Rihanna was pretty catchy, although the delivery left a little to be desired. It's a good thang that young lady likes to dress like such a skank or she'd be a nobody.

I just found an awesome vid of Mandy Moore doing the most beautiful version of Umbrella. Admittedly, I've never been a Mandy fan before; always thought she was cute, but that's it.

I'm gonna have to check into her music a little more. Until then check this out...

Wow! Mandy looks good as a blonde...

or a Brunette.

Watching Ma & Pa Kettle on DVD

2008-04-28T04:32:00.000-07:00

Q: How do hillbillies celebrate Halloween?

A: They 'pump kin'.
MA AND PA KETTLE
VOLUMES 1 AND 2
UNIVERSAL HOME VIDEO

'A Clockwork Orange', 'Amadeus', and 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' are fine examples of cinematic gourmet dining, but there are times when I'm in the mood for a home-cooked meal, and the MA & PA KETTLE series remains, to this day, basic country cooking at its finest.

The "kettle" started boiling with a film called THE EGG AND I, in which the Kettles (Marjorie Main and Percy Kilbride) are really just supporting characters opposite major stars Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray in this adaptation of the Betty MacDonald bestseller about a citified couple who haplessly buy a run-down chicken farm in the country, and endure disastrously comical tribulations. The film (which still provides considerable amusement) turned out to be Universal-International's biggest box-office success of the year, and spawned a series of low-rent, but extremely popular films in which Main and Kilbride starred as the countrified couple.
The first was MA & PA KETTLE, in which the Kettles attempt to spruce up their ramshackle farm in order to impress a visiting college official to get their son into college. For my money this is easily the best of the post "EGG & I" series, and the most consistently funny.
Then came arguably the weakest of this batch MA & PA KETTLE GO TO TOWN, wherein the Kettles win a trip to New York and misguidedly leave the baby-sitting chores to a notorious bank robber. The problem here is that when the Kettles are removed from their "natural " habitat, the humor seems forced and isn't helped by some very weak supporting players. (The big surprise here is that Universal actually spent the money to film some of the scenes in this extremely low budget film in New York-----for what little we see of the Big Apple they might just as well have used downtown Los Angeles.)
The series rebounds somewhat with MA & PA KETTLE BACK ON THE FARM in which the Kettles return to the "peace and quiet" of their farm only to learn that not only are they about to become grandparents, but they must deal with their son's snooty Eastern in-laws. While this is far from the best of the series, there are enough big laughs to justify its existence. It's quite clear, though, that as the series progressed, so did the budgets regress.
I compared the transfers of THE EGG & I and (THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF) MA & PA KETTLE with those of the double-feature laserdisc, and while the source material appears to be the same on both, the advances of dvd technology make their mark here, rendering the dvd image vastly preferable. The sharpness in particular is dramatically improved on the dvd. MA & PA KETTLE GO TO TOWN and particularly, MA & PA KETTLE BACK ON THE FARM are equally sharp, but the image at times suffers from noticeable, though tolerable, graininess.
The quality of the transfers of Volume Two of THE ADVENTURES OF MA AND PA KETTLE is substantially the same as Volume One, and while the humor seems to get gradually more forced, there remain enough laughs in the second collection to please KETTLE completists. MA AND PA KETTLE AT THE FAIR is easily the weakest of the bunch , but the Kettles rebound somewhat in ON VACATION, and AT HOME includes some very big laughs, and while there's ample evidence of strain in AT WAIKIKI even it contains a few pretty good guffaws.
The big news ,though, is that the Kettles are finally on dvd. Just to hear the great Marjorie Main bellow "C-O-M-E A-N-D G-E-T I-T !! " is music to my ears. Come and get it indeed!

Maya Angelou endorses Hillary

2008-04-25T05:44:00.001-07:00

How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!

Maya Angelou

From Maya Angelou:
"Dear Friend:
I am writing to tell you about my friend, Hillary Clinton, and why I am standing with her in her campaign for the presidency. I know the kind of president Hillary Clinton will be because I know the person she is.
I am inspired by her courage and her honesty. She is a reliable and trustworthy person. She is someone I not only admire but one for whom I have profound affection.
Hillary does not waver in standing up for those who need a champion. She has always been a passionate protector of families. As a child, she was taught that all God’s children are equal, and as a mother, she understood that her child wasn’t safe unless all children were safe. As I wrote about Hillary recently in a praise song: “She is the prayer of every woman, and every man who longs for fair play, healthy families, good schools and a balanced economy.”
It may be easy to view Hillary Clinton through the narrow lens of those who would write her off or grind her down. Hillary sees us as we are, black and brown and white and yellow and pink and relishes our differences knowing that fundamentally we are all more alike than we are unalike. She is able to look through complexion and see community.
She has endured great scrutiny, and still she dares greatly. Hillary Clinton will not give up on you, and all she asks is that you do not give up on her. She is a long-distance runner. I am honored to say I am with her for the long run.
I am supporting Hillary Clinton because I know that she will make the most positive difference in people’s lives and she will help our country become what it can be. Whether you are her supporter, leaning towards her, undecided, or supporting someone else, I believe Hillary Clinton will represent you – she will be a president for all Americans. It is no small thing that along the way we will make history together.
Vote for Hillary Clinton and show your support http://www.hillaryclinton.com/. I know she will make us proud."

Miss Piggy wants to Fuck the Pain Away

2008-04-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

I watch alot of Youtube vids everyday. Some of them really crack me up. Keep in mind that I'm not some Lemming sittin' home on Sunday night crackin' up over 'ball-racking' or sexual assaults by housepets on 'America's Funniest Home Videos. I mercilessly pick apart the vids on Youtube, looking for ways they could be improved. Sometimes the lyp-syncing in these productions are horrendous. Such is not the case in this beautiful video mash of Miss Piggy and the Muppet band performing Peaches 'Fuck the Pain Away'.

Gay Rap Lyrics

2008-04-25T04:21:00.000-07:00

This is 2Pac looking every bit of a fag. Thug life, eh?

With all of the negative press surrounding hip-hop music, rappers often complain about the media taking their lyrics out of context, to make them seem more violent or misogynistic than they really are.
As a journalistic institution built on a foundation of honesty and integrity, we would never stoop to such lows. But take those lyrics out of context to make them sound gay? We're on it.

Eminem: "Don't Push Me"
The Lyric: "Man I'm done saying that I'm done playing, Im'ma a start laying any of these motherfucking cocksuckers."

What He's Probably Saying:
"No joke, my patience is exhausted and now I'm gonna start shooting people."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Seriously, I'm gonna start having sex with dudes."

50 Cent: "Gun Runners"

The Lyric: Man on phone: "I got beef, I wanna see what you got, and if I like it I'll cop".
50 Cent: "Damn nigga, you hot!"

What He's Probably Saying:
Man on phone: "I have a conflict, I'd like to see your guns, if I like them I'll buy."
50 Cent: "Damn man you got problems!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
Man on phone: "I'm well-endowed, I'd like to see if you are also, if you are we'll engage in sex."
50 Cent: "Damn, man. You're sexy!"

Ice-T: "I Love Ladies"

The Lyric: "But don't get me wrong, most fellas do rock."

What He's Probably Saying:
"Dudes are cool, but when it comes to sex, I love ladies."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Don't get me wrong, I will bang a guy, too."

Jay-Z feat. Memphis Bleek: "Coming of Age"

The Lyric: Jay-Z: "Hey fella, I been watchin' you clockin'"
MB: "Who me holding down this block it ain't nothing, you the man nigga, now stop frontin'."
Jay-Z: "Ha ha! I like your style!"
MB: "Nah, I like YO style!"
Jay-Z: "Let's drive around awhile".
MB: "Cool, nigga."
Jay-Z: "Here's a thou!"

What He's Probably Saying:
"I like you, you should sell crack for me. Here's a sign-on bonus!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Hey fella, I've had my eye on you for awhile, I like how you look in those baggy jeans. Let's go park somewhere and have sex. I'll even pay you!"

NAS: "One Love" The Lyric: "But I heard you blew a nigga with a ox for the phone piece."

What He's Probably Saying:
"Hey, I heard you stabbed somebody because they wouldn't let you talk on the phone."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Hey, I heard you gave a dude with a pet ox a blow job so he'd let you use the phone."

Black Moon: "Act Like U Want It" The Lyric: "I get paid to rip, step aside, Im'ma blow you."

What He's Probably Saying:
"I get paid to be awesome, now get out of my way before I shoot you."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Relax, I do this for a living, move a little to the left so I can give you oral sex."

DJ Quik: "Dollaz + Sense" The Lyric: "Now, I never had my dick sucked by a man befo', but you gone be the first, you little trick-ass ho."

What He's Probably Saying:
"I'm so much of a badass, you're basically a woman in my presence, so I'm gonna make you blow me."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"I've never done this before, you know, let a guy put my junk in his mouth. This is my first time. You little trick-ass ho."

Black Rob: "Whoa!" The Lyric: "Plus I'm gettin' brain from this chick like whoa! Finger near a nigga asshole like whoa!"

What He's Probably Saying:
"So this chick was blowing me right, next thing I know she starts putting her finger near my ass and I'm all like WHOA!!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"So I'm in this room with a guy and his girlfriend, right? One thing leads to another, next thing I know, the chick is blowing me, I'm about to put my finger in dude's ass, and I'm like ... whoa! This is awesome!"

50 Cent, Part 2: "Piggy Bank" The Lyric: "Yayo, bring the condoms, I'm in room 203."

What He's Probably Saying:
"Dude, bring me some condoms, I'm gonna nail this chick, I'm in room 203."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Dude, fuck it, let's have sex, bring condoms, I'm in room 203."

2Pac: "If My Homie Calls"The Lyric: "Ever since you was a pee-wee, down by my knee with a wee-wee."

What He's Probably Saying:
"I've known you since you were knee-high to a cricket!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Ever since we were young, we've engaged in fellatio."

50 Cent, Part 3: "Ryder Music" The Lyric: "I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shiiiiit. Go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick."

What He's Probably Saying:
"People call me homophobic, but it's not true. In fact, when I go back to my old neighborhood, all kinds of dudes are on my dick. Ha ha! See what I did there? On my dick. Homophobic. Get it?"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"I'm not homophobic, in fact, I still have sex with several guys from my old neighborhood."

Read more from Adam at ScenicAnemia.com like, whoa!

Some Black Girl Wants to Smell Yo Dick

2008-04-25T03:59:00.000-07:00

Don't ask me who this bitch is. I don't even know if this is a joke, but it is so funny. Black recording artists are usually so unintentionally hilarious. I'm not including eminem with the accidentally hilarious because he is authentic and funny.

Happy Earth Day '08

2008-04-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

Dubya's reign is nearly over

2008-04-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

"Let me start off by saying that in 2000 I said, 'Vote for me. I'm an agent of change.' In 2004, I said, 'I'm not interested in change --I want to continue as president.' Every candidate has got to say 'change.' That's what the American people expect." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 5, 2008
Woke up this afternoon and realized, I really don't have alot to say about our outgoing prez. After much thought, I decided a list of his dubious achievments wouldn't be out of line.

Faith Based Funding. Violated the Constitution (separation of church and state) and countless legal precedents by establishing the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives (OFBCI).

Patriot Act. A misnomer of legislation! We are losing our freedoms in this country and it is being done in the name of patriotism! America was founded on these freedoms and civil liberties. It should instead be called the "Traitor Act". Secret telephone wire-taps, covert break-ins and searches of private homes, internet surveillance, secret arrests and imprisonment, body searches to use public transport, surveillance cameras popping up everywhere, ...

Economic recession. (This probably would have occurred with any president, but he hasn't yet stimulated a significant recovery which includes job gains.)

Iraq's WMD program. Bush's State of the Union address based on unverified claims, exaggerations and reporting of hearsay. Mislead the nation and the world.

Afghanistan War. Successfully dealt a blow to terrorism by attacking terrorist camps and temporarily disrupting Taliban. However, we didn't capture Osama bin Laden. Now ignoring promises of rebuilding and stability. A major political defeat in the world's eyes.

Iraq War. A huge cost in terms of tax dollars & American lives lost. No broad coalition of support as was done in his dad's "Desert Storm". Ignored world opinion and governing body of the U.N. To date, no WMD's have been found.

Tax Cut. Readers will have different views on this. We strongly support lower taxes, but gov't spending must be lowered simultaneously. This has not happened and will result in a skyrocketing federal debt for the foreseeable future. At the time of this writing, the federal debt $6,803,794,168,784.52 (9/23/03) and increasing daily. See the Treasury's website at "The Debt to the Penny and Who Holds It" [4].

Federal Housing Aid to Religious Groups. Violated the Constitution (separation of church and state) and countless legal precedents. For the first time religious groups will get federal housing money to help build centers where religious worship is held.

No energy conservation policy or push for renewable energy. Constantly thumb nose at world community regarding environmental policies.

Reducing EPA penalties and restrictions.

Promotes drilling in restricted areas. Drilling now targeted in protected areas such as the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska and the Rocky Mountains (including Yellowstone ecosystem, Montana, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico). Readers may argue that we need to decrease our dependence on foreign oil and oil in general (which is true). However, destruction of our protected lands should not be done until long-term programs are in place for energy conservation, renewable energy, etc. We should require that car buyers demonstrate a need for huge, gas-hungry SUVs and trucks.

Alienation of allies throughout the world. Wars, ignoring U.N., ignoring environment initiatives, etc. Successful cooperation between countries of the world requires that the "big guy on the block" respects the views of less powerful countries. We won't always agree with them, but we must listen, especially when there are numerous other countries who aren't in favor with our approach. Bush, on the other hand, shrugs them off as "the old Europe" like they shouldn't have a say in world affairs.

Secretive energy policy. Meetings behind closed doors which often favor large corporate sponsors and Vice President Cheney's former employer.

Religious focus. A nauseating focus on born-again, creationist, protestant religion throughout the administration.

Illegal aliens. Lack of focus on this ever-growing problem and drain on America's resources and tax dollars. Someone enters our country illegally and we feel compelled to offer them housing, education and health care!?

Violated federal law - The Bush administration violated federal law by revealing an undercover CIA operative's name and work to the press. The operative's husband, Ambassador Joseph Wilson, is a political foe of George W. Bush. Their disagreement was over the administration's claim that Iraq was trying to purchase uranium from Niger. John Dean, President Richard Nixon's Watergate-era aide, was so outraged at the leak that he wrote: "If I thought I had seen dirty political tricks as nasty and vile as they could get at the Nixon White House, I was wrong… Nixon never set up a hit on one of his enemies' wives.

Dubya, please don't let the door hit you in the ass.

"Jungle Boy" found to be heir to the throne

2008-04-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

The political turmoil in the tiny African nation of Steatopygia, appears to be at an end. The discovery of an albino "jungle boy" has led authorities to the missing heir to one of the wealthiest kingdoms in Africa.

When King Steatopygous died in 2006, civil unrest spread like AIDS throughout the kingdom, culminating in the bloody "Rebelizzle Civizzle" coup of '07. Many feared this once proud nation would be left in ruins. The violence continues in the streets but the widespread bombings of a few months ago have, for the most part, ended.

The discovery last month of the albino mystery boy led to widespread scientific debate concerning abortions, stem cell research, euthanasia, and other subjects doctors should be discussing without the aid of scientifically uneducated politicos.

The latest news concerning the "jungle boy's" bloodline has already begun curbing violence. The albino "jungle boy" is seen in this latest photo, promoting racial harmony without the barriers imposed by color identifications.

Colorado is Rocky Mountain High

2008-04-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

About 10,000 people gathered to celebrate 4/20 on Sunday by lighting their blunts at 4:20pm at the University of Colorado's Norlin Quadrangle.
This year far exceed last year's turnout. The much larger crowd was moved from the traditional site of Farrand Field to the much larger Norlin Quad to accommodate for the amount of people.
The annual event also had daytime concerts to keep the kiddies entertained.
But, the best news of all, not one person was cited or arrested for publicly smoking marijuana!
Fun times at CU!
In the past, officers have tried to catch the pot smokers. One year, the smokers were drenched with the sprinklers to try and prevent the festivities. Back in 2006, undercover photographers were sent to take photos of those smoking. The photos of over 150 offenders were then posted on the department's website with an offer of $50 for each person identified.
As for the large turnout, a police spokeswhore suspects it has to do with the fact that no one was in class. “I guess it’s not like they had to cut a 4 p.m. class to go do it. People are not all that busy at 4:20 p.m. in the afternoon on a Sunday.”
The crowd consisted of a peaceful gathering with giant balls and frisbees being tossed around. Most of the crowd went dressed in green, and many were seen playing the bongos and having small picnics.
Fun times!

More stupid racist remarks from a black person

2008-04-22T07:23:00.000-07:00

"I'm late all the time. I have no perception of time. Time is for white people. It doesn't work with me." Erykah Badu, African-American singer-songwriter

African-American songstress Erykah Badu made the above statement in the new issue of Blender magazine. While I do believe it's true that blacks have no concept of time (unable to show up for work, confusion about when slavery really started, not able to calculate the nine months following sexual intercourse to determine which child they fathered, etc.); the comment is still racist. Blacks get away with saying alot of racist things about whites.

Why is that?

I'm reminded of my post of a few days ago concerning Eddie Murphy's 5oth b-day. I posted a very funny clip of him making fun of his mom's "welfare-green pepper-burger".

Unforunately, Eddie commented, at the end, about white people being unable to dance. It seems to be a pretty safe remark; blacks have been commenting on white inabilities for some time. The problem was that he compared it to saying, "Blacks have big lips". Actually, saying that whites have white skin or small lips would be like saying that blacks have big lips. If I say that white people can't dance, that's more like saying blacks can't type. You see, in one instance we are talking about physical characteristics that, short of plastic surgery, are beyond our control. The other is talking about skill sets that anyone should be able to master. Saying that whites can't dance is more like saying that blacks can't reason, think analytically, or any number of things we are aware of them not being able to do, but can't mention because it's not politically correct.

Satan is out to get Hannah Montana

2008-04-22T06:21:00.000-07:00

I've been seeing alot of these 'racy' pics of Hannah Montana Star Miley Cyrus in compromising positions. This isn't her first time at neophyte porn either . Miley has done this with girl as well as boyfriends. Click here to see Miley Cyrus romping around.
“They’re nothing bad! At first, I was really upset. It really sucks. What I decided before I came out to LA and started working was the minute I didn’t have fun was the minute I go home. I don’t want to go home, and I don’t want to not do what I do, because I love it, but this…it’s Satan attacking. It’s not something I’m going to let slide. I’m really upset about it, ‘cause it was, like, not even a big deal.”

I'm really most pleased with Miley blaming satin. I think satin gets away with way too much in today's world. I mean does anybody really think it's comparable to silk; you're fuckin' crazy. If this tween says that satin is causing people to want to look at her pseudo-erotic myspace pics, then we must stamp out satin once and for all.

The Straight Dope on Medical Marijuana

2008-04-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

Marijuana's therapeutic uses are well-documented in modern scientific literature. The studies indicate that marijuana provides symptomatic relief for a number of medical conditions, including nausea and vomiting, stimulating appetite, promoting weight gain, and diminishing intraocular pressure from glaucoma. There is also evidence that smoked marijuana and/or THC reduces muscle spasticity from spinal cord injuries and multiple sclerosis, and diminishes tremors in multiple sclerosis patients. Patients and physicians have also reported that smoked marijuana provides relief from migraine headaches, depression, seizures, insomnia and chronic pain, among other conditions.

Reference materials on marijuana as medicine:

Marinol vs. Natural Cannabis - Pros, Cons and Options for Patients

NORML's Statement on the Medical Use of Marijuana - Science Supports Amending Federal Law

National Institute of Health's Workshop on the Utility of Medical Marijuana (1998)

Drug Sense's Review of Medical Marijuana Studies and Reports (1997)

Institute of Medicine's "Marijuana and Medicine: Assessing the Science Base" (1999) (book no. 0309071550)

NORML's Review of Human Studies and Medical Marijuana (1996)

Landmark Legal Case: NORML v. DEA

Guest Editorial in the Journal of American Medical Association, by L. Grinspoon, M.D. "Marijuana as Medicine -- A Plea for

Reconsideration" (June 21, 1995)

News magazine article, "The more things change, the more they stay the same..."

Newt Gingrich's Letter Supporting Medical Marijuana, published in the Journal of American Medicine (JAMA, 1982)

Institute of Medicine Report Endorsing Medical Marijuana (1982)

New England Journal of Medicine's Endorsement of Medical Marijuana

Up In Smoke - Tribute to Some Legends

2008-04-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

This is my Massive 420 post. I am so freakin' proud. Unfortunately, I'm sitting rollin' some reggie into some peach paper so as to cover the harsh taste. For brick it ain't bad. I will survive.

Here's a nice tribute video I uncovered recently. Figured it might be a nice thing to share on this wonderful holiday weekend. Enjoy!

The Ultimate Celeb Stoner

2008-04-20T07:18:00.001-07:00

Paris Hilton in a potpourri of pot photos.

Paris' fat joint.

A comparison of the brown dirt-weed Paris had been smoking, to the primo ganj she obtained through a certain Jack-Ass-O.

Puff, puff, pass.

More Celeb-Stoners

2008-04-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to California, a magical land, where celebs are allowed to smoke marijuana in public.

Lindsay Lohan smokin' blunts with some friends.

A Collection of Celeb Stoners

2008-04-20T07:06:00.001-07:00

This is Mischa Barton partaking(I think she was almost famous).

Lindsay Lohan blows some pot smoke among other things.

Steve-O endorses the ganj.

The Governator is my #1 hero.

Bruce is another Republican toker.

Of course, Diddy smokes.

420 pics designed to make you envious

2008-04-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

Sweet Skunk
Sweet-Tooth
The "Real McCoy"

Honey Dew
KB Kush
Shiva-Afghan
Snow
Sour-Diesel

Hash Plant

Here's the latest on marijuana and our government.

Washington, DC: US Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) introduced legislation in Congress Friday to strip the federal government of its authority to arrest responsible adult cannabis consumers. The measure, H.R. 5843, known as an “Act to Remove Federal Penalties for Personal Use of Marijuana by Responsible Adults,” is the first federal decriminalization legislation introduced in 24 years. Frank’s pending bill, co-sponsored by presidential candidate Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX), seeks to eliminate all federal penalties prohibiting the personal use and possession of up to 100 grams (3 1/2 ounces) of marijuana. Under this measure, adults who consume cannabis would no longer face arrest, prison, or even the threat of a civil fine. The bill also eliminates all penalties for the not-for-profit transfers of up to one ounce of pot. All are encouraged to write their representatives in support of this important legislation via NORML’s online advocacy system.
Washington, DC: Representative Ron Paul (R-TX) introduced H.R. 5842, the “Medical Marijuana Patient Protection Act,” earlier today. This bill would make federal authorities respect states’ current laws on medicinal cannabis and end DEA raids on facilities distributing medical marijuana legally under state law. Representative Paul, whose presidential campaign prominently featured the ending of the drug war as a platform plank, was joined by Representative Barney Frank (D-MA) in sponsoring this bill. All NORML supporters are strongly encouraged to write their Representatives in favor of this important bill via NORML’s online advocacy system.
New Hampshire: House Bill 1623, which would decriminalize the possession of small amounts of cannabis, was passed by the House on March 18. The Senate Judiciary Committee will now hold an important hearing on this bill at 3:00 PM on April 22. All supporters are encouraged to attend. Additionally, our allies at NH Common Sense are now encouraging supporters to contact Governor John Lynch directly and urge him to rethink his assertion that he will veto HB 1623 if it reaches his desk. New Hampshire supporters are strongly encouraged to urge their Representatives and the Governor to support these bills via NORML’s online advocacy system.

Akon - Ugly man's rap bravado is par for the course

2008-04-20T06:02:00.000-07:00

Senagalese rapper Akon may sexually abuse underage fans on stage and toss kids into the crowd, but he’s not the hardened criminal he and his publicity team would like you to believe. The Smoking Gun uncovered that Akon has only served a few months in county jail on gun possession. That’s vastly different from the three years he claims to have spent in jail for running a car theft ring and chop shop.
Many of Akon’s songs cover his fabricated criminal past and prison time, and his whole music persona centers on his tough thug life. His three albums are called “Trouble,” “Konvicted,” and “Acquitted.” His first big hit, “Locked Up” off his 2004 album “Trouble” features the lyrics “Visitation no longer comes by, Seems like they forgot about me, Commissary is gettin empty, Cellmates gettin food without me.” Must’ve been awful those whole few months in NJ county prison.
Akon’s ad nauseum claims about his criminal career and resulting prison time have been, to an overwhelming extent, exaggerated, embellished, or wholly fabricated, an investigation by The Smoking Gun has revealed. Police, court, and corrections records reveal that the entertainer has created a fictionalized backstory that serves as the narrative anchor for his recorded tales of isolation, violence, woe, and regret. Akon has overdubbed his biography with the kind of grit and menace that he apparently believes music consumers desire from their hip-hop stars.
While the performer’s rap sheet does include a half-dozen arrests, Akon has only been convicted of one felony, for gun possession. That 1998 New Jersey case ended with a guilty plea, for which the singer was sentenced to three years probation. Another 1998 bust, this one in suburban Atlanta, has been seized upon by Akon and transformed into the big case that purportedly sent him to prison (thanks to his snitching cohorts) for three fight-filled years. In reality, Akon was arrested for possession of a single stolen BMW and held in the DeKalb County jail for several months before prosecutors dropped all charges against him.
So there was no conviction. There was no prison term between 1999 and 2002. And he was never “facing 75 years,” as the singer claimed in one videotaped interview.
Akon’s invented tales appear to be part of a cynical marketing plan, but one that has met with remarkable success. Few press interviews conclude without Akon being asked about his criminal exploits and his prison days. He obliges with canned and well-rehearsed claims, false as they may be, and compares his supposed nationwide operation to those depicted in the movies “Gone in 60 Seconds” and “New Jersey Drive.” And in interview after interview over the years, he always makes sure to point out the “notorious” nature of his theft ring (as if the adjective’s inclusion makes him sound even more felonious). Akon repeats the phrase “notorious car theft operation” so frequently it seems like he is reading it from a sheet of talking points.
[From The Smoking Gun]
The Smoking Gun has also compiled multiple examples of Akon lying about his past in interviews, including talking about police chases and his car stealing ring. He said “I literally owned 4 chop shops… jail was a blessing to me… I was in there for three years, and everybody I.. hung out with they’re literally dead or they’re doing time where they’re going to be 50, 60 before they get out. I got two friends on death row.”
Yeah, right Akon. You were a petty criminal who got rich inventing your past, and you just look like a punk now that it’s come out that you were lying the whole time. Unfortunately your music label is probably not going to have to issue refunds to all the fans you duped for years. James Frey got owned by the Smoking Gun, and now they’re doing the same to you.

America's Next Topless Stoner Role-Model

2008-04-20T05:54:00.000-07:00

The sexy stoner starlet has gone from America's Next Top Model to Top CelebStoner. Adrianne Curry is brash about pot and wants the whole world to know why.
"As a semi-celeb, I am sick and fucking tired of people coming down on me for being pro-marijuana," Adrianne tells CelebStoner. "I'm the bad role model? Why has everyone seemed to miss the countless photographs of their favorite role models and celebs toking up? As long as as someone keeps it under wraps, or sits in denial when they are caught, then it's ok? Well, not for me. I believe pot is MUCH safer than alcohol or anything else for that matter. I can only hope our government can find a way to make as much money off making it legal as they have making it illegal! I am proud to be picked as the Top CelebStoner, even if there are countless celebs that could burn me under the table. They just dont admit to it! Thank you all!"
Adrianne was born in Joliet, IL in 1982. She had problems with hard drugs as a teenager and went to rehab. After winning the first-ever America's Next Top Model contest, Adrianne appeared on The Surreal Life, where she met Chris Knight. They began dating and soon had their own VH1 show, My Fair Brady. (Knight played Peter Brady on The Brady Bunch as a child actor.) They were married on the show in 2006.
Adrianne won Stony Awards for My Fair Brady in 2005 and 2006, and has appeared twice on the cover of Playboy.

America's Next Top Stoner

2008-04-20T05:48:00.000-07:00

Amy Poehler won the latest Next Top CelebStoner poll. She defeated Montel Williams, B-Real, Marc Emery, Bode Miller and Ted Allen.
Poehler is a longtime Saturday Night Live cast member and co-founder of the Upright Citizens Brigade.
The 36-year-old comic was born in Massachusetts and got her start at Second City in Chicago. This led to the formation of Upright Citizen's Brigade - Matt Besser, Matt Walsh, Ian Roberts and Poehler.
She appeared in the Upright Citizens Brigade TV show on Comedy Central from 1998 to 2000. The second season features a storyline about a new drug called Supercool and the DEA's raid of the UCB offices.
UCB hosted both the Stony Awards and the Cannabis Cup in 2000.
Poehler joined the SNL cast in 2001. She's best known for her impersonations of Kelly Ripa, Sharon Osbourne and Hillary Clinton, and usually delivers the pot punchlines on "Weekend Update."
On the Feb. 24 show hosted by Tina Fey, Poehler joked: "Rapper Snoop Dogg was given a desk appearance ticket Wednesday night in New York for possession of marijuana. Snoop called the ticket unfair and hard to roll."
She's appeared in nunerous movies, including Mean Girls, Blades of Glory and Wet Hot American Summer.
Poehler can often be seen performing (on Sundays) at the UCB Theatre at 307 W. 26 St. in New York. They have second theater in Hollywood.
She married actor/comic Will Arnett in 2003.

Cameron and Drew Partake

2008-04-20T05:37:00.001-07:00

You know, "smoking grass" has been attributed to some serious stuff like making people sleep too much, laugh too much, procrastinate too much, sleep too much, laugh too much, procrastinate too much, forget too much and "Reefer Madness." Never until now have I had more proof that smoking pot makes just plain ugly. Try to look at Cameron Diaz. Yesterday, Chandler Bing was thinking, "Could Cameron Diaz be more ugly?" Drew Barrymore replied, "Like, duh!"

Was Pot the Source of the McKay Fortune?

2008-04-20T05:35:00.000-07:00

Hollywood star Luke Perry enjoyed the delights of a marijuana cafe in Amsterdam so much - he had to be helped back to his hotel by sniggering staff. The hunky American star had one cannabis joint too many this weekend at famous coffee house The Greenhouse, the same cafe where pop superstar Britney Spears reportedly got tipsy after her sold-out concert last year, and found himself incapable of talking - or moving. An observer says, "Luke just sat on his chair in the corner of the room and could hardly say another word. " The management of The Greenhouse had to call the staff of the hotel where he was staying to come over and pick him up. The star, best known for his portrayal of Dylan in hit American TV series Beverly Hills 90210, is a frequent visitor of The Greenhouse.

Smokin' Bud Bundy on 420

2008-04-20T05:29:00.000-07:00

Dude, you stole my marijuana clinic! Those are the angry words of Jared Long, a California- and Oregon-based entrepreneur who claims former “Married… with Children” star David Faustino swiped his budding medical marijuana clinic.
As the Enquirer exclusively reported in October, David - who played teenager Bud Bundy on the hit sitcom - had turned his pot smoking hobby into a thriving business in Reseda, California.
But in an exclusive Enquirer interview, Jared insists the actor cheated him out of ownership of the clinic.
Jared maintains the business was his idea and that David bought into the company after a location had been leased.“At first, things were great. David told me he bought into the business so he could get the best quality herb for his own personal use,” said Jared….
“He loved to smoke Silver Kush, a top quality grade of herb. He would smoke it in the back room, although it’s illegal, using pipes and bongs we had back there…”
When Jared was out of town, David took out a sublease on the property and changed the name from Nature Care to Natural Care Collective.
“He said because I wasn’t there to run the company and I missed a business meeting, he didn’t owe me anything for kicking me out… I’m going to sue him,” said Jared.
[From The National Enquirer print edition, March 12, 2007]
Here’s the MySpace for David Faustino’s Natural Care Collective medicinal marijuana clinic. (Warning for work: contains big pics of pot.) The pictures on their myspace are captioned with stuff like “Med’s……mmmmmmm,” “Candy. Candy. Candy.” and “Come: see, smell, then go home and PARTAKE…” They sure hype the herb and it doesn’t seem geared for cancer and glaucoma patients. They say that they’re “dedicated to providing safe access to medication for qualified patients suffering from: AIDS, Cancer, Chronic Pain, Insomnia, Anxiety, and many other illnesses,” and give out numbers to call if you need more info about prescriptions.
That’s cold if Bud shut out the guy who started the clinic once he went on vacation.
Faustino has appeared in several straight to DVD pot comedies, including 2001’s Killer Bud and 2006’s Puff, Puff, Pass starring Danny Masterson and directed by Mekhi Phifer of ER fame.

Obligatory Xavier Rudd Post

2008-04-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

This guy is incredible and I can't stress that enough. Get down to your local independently owned music store and purchase both 'solace' and 'white moth' by xavier rudd. You will not be disappointed.

These are the lyrics and video for his song "the mother".

Do you feel it in the sunshine

Do you feel it in the rain

Do you feel it in the ocean

When the waves are clean

Do you feel it in the evening

When the moon is up

Do you feel it in your bones

When she fills you up

Oh yeah she breathes good luck

Mother Earth Mother Earth

She breathes good luck

Do you feel it on the inside

Do you feel it on the out

Do you feel it when you're up up

Do you feel it when you're down

Do you feel it in the mountains

When the powder falls

Do you feel it on the water

No wind at all

Sarah Marshall premiere enough reason to post sexy pics

2008-04-18T15:38:00.002-07:00

In honor of "Sarah Marshall's" opening weekend; here are the babes from the movie, Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell.

Normally I need no excuse to post hot pics of sexy girls. Fuck it, don't really need one now. This is Kristen Bell aka Veronica Mars looking sexy on a dead animal. I have no idea where she came from but she sure is delectable.
Here's the films male star, Jason Segal, in another pantsless role from the film "Superbad".

OMG! A Jackie and Veronica Sandwhich

2008-04-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

Jason Segal and Mila Kunis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Kristen Bell lookin' sweet in a pink bikini.

"Forgetting Sarah Marshall" is book-ended by the sight of Jason Segal's penis, which perfectly frames this movies emotional vulnerability and locker-room humor into one surprisingly consumable mixture.
"Sarah Marshall" is the latest comedy from the Judd Apatow laugh factory.
Its lead actor and screenwriter, Jason Segel, worked with Apatow on "Knocked Up" and "Freaks and Geeks," and shares his mentor's belief that great comedy comes from humiliation and pain.
"Sarah" will be remembered primarily for Segel's bravery in baring all to the camera when the title heroine (Kristen Bell) dumps his character, Peter. Initially, Segel's full-frontal nudity is played strictly for laughs, but as the scene progresses, and Segel remains naked, we see the emotional pain of Peter's dejection laid bare.
Neither Segel or director Nicholas Stoller desire to pull your heart strings for too long. "Sarah Marshall" has a strong eye for character, but it exists to make you laugh, not to reveal truths about the human condition. And the movie is ably abetted by the presence of such Apatow regulars as Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill and Bill Hader in supporting roles.
After the breakup, Peter heads to Hawaii for a little therapeutic R&R, a plan that goes horribly and hilariously awry when Sarah shows up at the same resort with her new boyfriend, oversexed English rock star Aldous Snow (Russell Brand).
There are echoes of "Knocked Up" and "Superbad" here, but the appealing Segel has invested the story with enough personal details to make it feel like an outgrowth of his fabulous television work on "Freaks and Geeks", "Undeclared", & "How I Met Your Mother." This is his first produced screenplay, but the material was a lifetime in the making.
STARRING: Jason Segel, Kristen Bell, Russell Brand, Mila Kunis
DIRECTOR: Nicholas Stoller
RATING: R for sexual content, language, graphic nudity
RUNNING TIME: 1 hour, 52 minutes

Everything annoys me except the sound of my own voice.

2008-04-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

This is so confusing. Everyone sounds like cats being slapped against a chalkboard. I was rudely awakened by a horrific earthquake at 4:30am. My family thinks I'm a tyrant. And gas is $3+ per gallon. The only shining lights in this shit-storm of a life, are my son coming to visit and the 420 holiday weekend. Eventually, 420 will come to be a Federal holiday; once everyone realizes how great ganj is for morale. We might be too stoned to win any wars but we won't be compelled to start any, either.

Speaking of wars, the NBA playoffs start tomorrow. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the winner of the Suns - Spurs matchup, in the west, will be the champ. The addition of the "Big Stupid" to the Suns roster makes them, in my eyes, the favorite to take the title.

Now, here's something to talk about; Monday, June 16, will be the season 4 premiere of my favorite television show, "Weeds", starring Mary-Louise Parker.

For those of you out of the loop, "Weeds" is a dark comedy TV show about a widowed suburban housewife from the affluent, albeit, fictional town of Agrestic who becomes a marijuana-dealer to support her family.

This show has everything: humor, violence, drugs, and sex; and the music is pretty good.

Be sure to check it out.

I'm gonna count how many things fit into my cat's butt. I leave you, once again, with more butts from a local thong contest.

It's not quite friday

2008-04-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

Sitting here thinking what to write can be so taxing on my brain. It's like conversations with most of my friends. I'm constantly trying to be clever, but I'm either: not as funny as I think I am or everyone I know is an idiot. Either way, I'm gonna keep plugging along and see what comes out.

Tell me what you think about this...my cousin was handing something (not a blunt) to my gf the other day. She wanted his attention and said, " you'll need to do a 180." Really he only required a quarter turn, so I corrected her, "really it's a 90."

At that moment, my cousin whom we'll call, um, Justin, stumbled backwards landing on our love-seat. I said, "now he's doing some backwards nonlinear movement with sines and cosines and all kinds of things I'm unable to describe mathematically." Everyone blank stared me. Of course, I was left to wonder, "can everyone else be right? am I really not cute?"

Fuck it! Who cares?

Here are some butts.

TV exec force-feed American consumers

2008-04-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

Let's hope Jimmy Kimmel can do for "live commercials" what Lucille Ball did in the 50's. According to reports, ABC late night talker Jimmy Kimmel Live will be integrating 'live' commercials into its shows.
Everyone in my house seems to enjoy commercials. I'll have to admit some of them really get my attention, even though I usually can't tell you what product is being peddled. Honestly, we think "live commercials" are the way to go.

Slipped profanities, wardrobe malfunctions, and disgusting noises are the inevitable outcome. We say, "Go for it!"
Kimmel is funny and, apparently stoned most nights, so I'm sure we will be amused. The first live commercials on Kimmel are expected to begin in May.

Here's Lucy to show you how to handle television endorsements.

Jeb & Dubya together @last - a real Texas sized Jamboree

2008-04-16T04:12:00.000-07:00

Don't feel too bad for them. One became the governor of Florida and the other went on to become President. - Ren Y

Ugly mom passes "Frankenstein complex" gene to daughter

2008-04-16T03:55:00.000-07:00

Mother Of The Year

Alicia Douvall is a "glamour model" in the UK and probably one of the ugliest whores I've seen in a while. She makes Paris Hilton look like Mother Theresa. Somehow, Alicia has managed to have over 50 plastic surgeries in between getting drunk almost every night and having sex with entire municipalities. Alicia has had 12 surgeries on her tits alone and she's going in for another one, because she's either, not happy with the results or her doctor uses her as a practice dummy.
Mommy dearest has decided to put the kibosh on her 12-year-old daughter, Georgia's wish for a boob job on her 13th Birthday. Some girls want Hannah Montana shit and some want new tits! Apparently, the daughter has been enjoying pole-dancing lessons from a jolly old man in a red suit since Xmas. You got to start them young nowadays.
Alicia told Closer Magazine (via The Sun), "Georgia wrote a little birthday wish-list for her 13th birthday later this month and on it was Kate Moss perfume, an iPhone and a boob job." Georgia said that she thinks it's normal to have plastic surgery, because her mom has had it.
Alicia will get her daughter a boob job, but only when she turns 16. "I think a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model as long as she's managed well. That's why I'm happy for Georgia to have a boob job because it will give her a career. She's been at a modeling agency since she was about six. She'll be more famous than Britney!"
Where's that mother of the year award?! The competition is over. Here's the winner!

There's a flaming red horizon that screams your name - Jeff Buckley

2008-04-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

Jeff Buckley moved to New York City in February 1990, but found few opportunities to work as a musician. He was introduced to Qawwali, the devotional music of India and Pakistan, and to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, one of its most well-known singers. Buckley was an impassioned fan of Khan, and during his cafe days Buckley had often covered his songs. He interviewed Khan for Interview magazine and wrote liner notes for Khan’s The Supreme Collection compilation. Buckley also became interested in blues-legend Robert Johnson and hardcore punk during this time. Buckley moved back to Los Angeles in September when his father’s former manager, Herb Cohen, offered to help him record his first demo of original songs. Buckley completed Babylon Dungeon Sessions, a five song cassette that included the songs “Eternal Life” and “Unforgiven” (later titled “Last Goodbye”). Cohen and Buckley hoped to attract attention from the music industry with the demo tape.

Buckley flew back to New York the following spring to make his public singing debut at a tribute concert for his father called “Greetings from Tim Buckley”. The event, produced by show business veteran Hal Willner, was held at St. Ann’s Church in Brooklyn on April 26, 1991. Jeff Buckley chose simply to pay his respects to his father saying, “This is not a springboard, this is something very personal.” He performed “I Never Asked To Be Your Mountain”, a song Tim Buckley wrote about an infant Jeff Buckley and his mother, accompanied by experimental rock guitarist Gary Lucas. Buckley returned to the stage to play “Sefronia - The King’s Chain”, “Phantasmagoria in Two”, and concluded the concert with “Once I Was” performed acoustically with an impromptu a cappella ending. “He blew the whole place away,” Willner recalled. When questioned about that particular performance Buckley said, “It wasn’t my work, it wasn’t my life. But it bothered me that I hadn’t been to his funeral, that I’d never been able to tell him anything. I used that show to pay my last respects.” Ironically, the concert proved to be his first step into the music industry that had eluded him for years.

On subsequent trips to New York in the summer of 1991, Buckley began co-writing with Gary Lucas resulting in the songs “Grace” and “Mojo Pin”, and by fall began performing with Lucas’ band Gods and Monsters around New York City. After being offered a development deal with Gods and Monsters at Imago Records, Buckley moved back to New York to the Lower East Side at the end of 1991. The day after Gods and Monsters officially debuted in March 1992, Buckley decided to leave the band.

Grace

In the summer of 1993, Jeff Buckley began working on his first album with record producer Andy Wallace, who had mixed Nirvana’s multi-platinum album Nevermind. Buckley assembled a band, composed of bassist Mick Grondahl and drummer Matt Johnson, and spent several weeks rehearsing. In September, the trio headed to Bearsville Studios in Woodstock, New York to spend 6 weeks recording basic tracks for what would become Grace. Buckley invited ex-bandmate Lucas to play guitar on the songs “Grace” and “Mojo Pin”, and Woodstock-based jazz musician Karl Berger wrote and conducted string arrangements with Buckley assisting at times. Buckley returned home for overdubbing at studios in Manhattan and New Jersey where he performed take after take to capture the perfect vocals and experimented with ideas for additional instruments and added textures to the songs.

In January 1994, Buckley left to go on his first solo North American tour to support Live at Sin-é. It was followed by a quick 10 day European tour in March. Buckley played clubs and coffeehouses and made in-store appearances. After returning, Buckley invited guitarist Michael Tighe to join the band. Buckley co-wrote “So Real” with Tighe, recorded as a late addition to the album. In June, Buckley began his first full band tour called the “Peyote Radio Theatre Tour” that lasted into August. Pretender Chrissie Hynde, Soundgarden’s Chris Cornell, and The Edge from U2 were among the attendees of these early shows.

Grace was released on August 23, 1994. In addition to seven original songs, the album included three covers: “Lilac Wine”, based on Nina Simone’s version, “Corpus Christi Carol”, a Benjamin Britten composition based on a 15th century hymn that Buckley was introduced to in high school, and Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, based on John Cale’s recording from the Cohen tribute album, I’m Your Fan. Buckley’s rendition of “Hallelujah” has been called “Buckley’s best” and “one of the great songs” by Time magazine and is included on Rolling Stone’s list of “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time”.

While sales were slow and the album garnered little radio airplay, it quickly received critical acclaim. The UK’s Melody Maker called it, “a massive, gorgeous record,” while The Sydney Morning Herald proclaimed it, “almost impossibly beautiful.” The album did go gold in France and Australia over the next two years, eventually achieving gold status in the U.S. in 2002. Grace has now sold over 2 million albums worldwide and has gone platinum in Australia over six times

Grace won appreciation from a host of revered musicians. Included were members of Buckley’s biggest influence, Led Zeppelin. Jimmy Page considered Grace close to being his “favorite album of the decade.”Ali Gay, a renowned contempary dance artist used Jeff Buckley’s music to create such masterpieces as “Blue Still and Magnum” which feature regularly in music film clips of the modern area. Robert Plant was also complimentary. Other of Buckley’s influences lauded him: Bob Dylan named Buckley “one of the great songwriters of this decade,” David Bowie called Grace “one of the 10 albums he’d bring with him to a desert island.” Lou Reed expressed interest in working with him after seeing him perform. Paul McCartney, Thom Yorke, Matthew Bellamy, Chris Cornell, Neil Peart, U2 and Elton John were among others who have held Buckley’s work in high esteem.

Death

After completing touring in 1996, Buckley started to write for a new album to be called My Sweetheart the Drunk. In February 1997, he recorded a spoken word reading of the Edgar Allan Poe poem, Ulalume, for the album Closed on Account of Rabies. This would be Buckley’s last recording in New York; shortly after, he moved to Memphis, Tennessee, where he rented a shotgun house of which he was so fond he contacted the owner about the possibility of buying it. Buckley started recording demos on his own 4-track recorder. He went into the studio again, recruited a band, and plans for the new album looked hopeful.

On May 29, 1997, as the band’s plane touched down on the runway to join him in his Memphis studio, Buckley went swimming in Wolf River Harbor, a tributary of the Mississippi River, while wearing steel-toed boots, all of his clothing, and singing along to a radio playing Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love”. A roadie of Buckley’s band, Keith Foti, remained ashore. After moving the radio and a guitar out of reach of the wake from a passing tugboat, Foti looked up to see that Buckley was gone. Despite a determined rescue effort that night, Buckley remained missing, and the search was called off the following day due to heavy rain. It is likely Buckley was sucked under the water by a strong under-current and fell into unconsciousness due to the sudden force pulling him under. Three days later, his body was spotted by a tourist on a riverboat marina and was brought ashore.

The biography Dream Brother, written about him and his father, reveals that, the night before his death, Buckley reportedly admitted to several loved ones that he suffered from bipolar disorder. The autopsy confirmed that Buckley had taken no illegal drugs before his swim, and a drug overdose was ruled out as the cause of death. He was thirty years old.

After Buckley’s death, a collection of demo recordings and a full-length album he had been reworking for his second album were released as Sketches for My Sweetheart the Drunk - the compilation being overseen by Chris Cornell. Three other albums composed of live recordings have also been released, along with a live DVD of a performance in Chicago. A previously unreleased 1992 recording of “I Shall Be Released”, sung by Buckley over the phone on live radio, was released on the album For New Orleans.

Director Brian Jun has announced plans to make a film biography of Buckley, in cooperation with his mother. It is to be called Mystery White Boy, and is scheduled for release in 2008. As of yet, no one has been cast in the role of Buckley. A separate project involving the book Dream Brother was allegedly canceled.

A recent edition of the UK's Q Magazine, listed the finest voices of all time and their ultimate songs as chosen by Q. Jeff Buckley is number 10 on "100 Greatest Singers of All Time". Additionally, "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley has been voted "World's Best Song" by a number of prominent people in the music industry !! More info online at http://gnrdaily.com/news_detail.asp?id=598

For those of you in Sweden, the Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet featured an article on Jeff which is accompanied by a photo we haven't seen before ... The article mentions that Q Magazine had voted Jeff's version of Hallelujah the "World's Best Song" More Online at http://www.aftonbladet.se/nojesliv/musik/article692159.ab

Q Magazine (UK), listed "Hallelujah" as the No. 1 most perfect song ever, as sung by Jeff. 'Great songs deserve to be sung by great singers...' and '...it was Buckley's voice - pure, naked, seraphic - that turned it into an almost religious experience.'

There's also a comment from John Legend in the same issue of Q: 'Hallelujah is as near perfect as you can get. My personal choice would be Jeff Buckley's cover - to me that is the signature version of that song. The lyrics to Hallelujah are just incredible and the melody's gorgeous, and then there's Jeff's interpretation of it. Heavy going? It transcends your mood. I can put it on first thing in the morning, or out on my iPod...I can listen to it anywhere. That's the mark of a perfect song. It's one of the most beautiful pieces of recorded music I've ever heard.'

In the same issue of Q Magazine, Jeff is mentioned twice more in a review of Patrick Watson's "Close To Paradise" in comparison to Jeff and additionally, NME Magazine (UK) says '... Watson's mercurial vocals, which are evocative of - and this isn't a comparison to be made lightly.

Richard Brautigan is a must read or U can FUCK me like fried-potatoes

2008-04-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

Richard Gary Brautigan (January 30, 1935 – ca. September 14, 1984) was an American writer, best known for the novel Trout Fishing in America. Brautigan wrote ten novels and over 500 poems. Most of his novels had to deal with satire, black comedy, and Zen Buddhism. Due to years of depression and heavy alcoholism, he committed suicide in his home in Bolinas, California. His exact date of death is unknown but it is presumed that he ended his life on September 14, 1984.
This guy was a phenomenal writer and an inspiration to live every day. I've been a fan since I was twelve years-old. I'll never forget buying paperback copies of Bob Dylan's Tarantula and Brautigan's Trout Fishing In America for $ .25 and being pleased as a sailor on a "west-pac" tour. Dylan's book fell by the wayside but I became more and more intrigued by the funny-looking guy with the droopy moustache and simple ideas.

"you must lie upon the daisies
and discourse in novel phrases
of your complicated state of mind
the meaning doesn't matter
if it's only idle chatter
of a transcendental kind."
My apologies if it was misquoted. I didn't bother to check. Just gonna rely on my memory for that one.
Today, Trout Fishing In America remains one of the wittiest and most original works of American literature of the 20th century. A collection of semi-abstract recollections and vignettes based around the loose theme of a search for the perfect fishing spot, Trout Fishing acted as a metaphor for the changing face of a country, and a gentle plea for a back-to-basics approach in the tradition of Thoreau. Naturally it found favour with the hippies and the post-Beats and swiftly sold a million copies, as ubiquitous in the pockets of Haight-Ashbury hipsters as beads and Thai sticks.

I quickly moved on to Brautigan's other work - novels such as 1964's evocative A Confederate General from Big Sur; his1970 short story collection Revenge of the Lawn, each page of which seemed to say more than many authors manage in entire novels; and the economical poetry of collections such as Rommel Drives On Deep Into Egypt and The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster. Other works such as Please Plant This Book, a collection of seed packets with poems printed on them, reflected his humour and wit.

Like Kurt Vonnegut, Brautigan (who bore more than a passing resemblance to David Crosby) had a surefire ability to make his readers laugh. Each sentence offers a lyrical epiphany and makes you feel a little bit better about being alive, while his eye for the minutiae of everyday existence is unparalleled. It was perhaps this dreamy style which, as the 60s gave way to the less trippy 70s and the hard-driven competition of the 80s, marked Brautigan's downfall. The world was changing, but - critics said - he was not.

Yet that's exactly why I love him: he was a writer out of step. Though a figurehead of the 60s he later claimed to hate hippies. Personally, I always thought he was just as much 1860s as 1960s. Besides, though slightly more pessimistic in tone, his later work is not to be written off. His final two novels, The Tokyo-Montana Express (1980) and So the Wind Won't Blow it All Away (1982), are strikingly original works, and his writings are now being reinterpreted more than ever, clearly an inspiration to writers such as Garrison Keillor and Tom Robbins as well as fans such as Jarvis Cocker, who recently read Brautigan for a podcast.

Far from being irrelevant or outmoded, Brautigan is instead the lone eccentric on the busy city intersection staring at the sky and finding patterns in the clouds, while everyone else shuffles along staring at the ground. With most of his major works being reprinted for a new generation, it's heartening to know that the world has caught up with his unique charms. For really, he was neither behind nor ahead of his time, but beside it, looking in and laughing quietly into his moustache.

I can't leave this post without sharing a sampling of his brilliant work.

IMPASSE
I talked a good hello
but she talked an even
better good-bye.

THE NECESSITY OF APPEARING IN YOUR OWN FACE
There are days when that is the last place
in the world where you want to be but you
have to be there, like a movie, because it
features you.

FOR FEAR YOU WILL BE ALONE
For fear you will be alone
you do so many things
that aren’t you at all

EVERYTHING INCLUDES US
The thought of her hands
touching his hair
makes me want to vomit.

I’LL AFFECT YOU SLOWLY
I’ll affect you slowly
as if you were having
a picnic in a dream.
There will be no ants.
It won’t rain.

AT THE GUESS OF A SIMPLE HELLO
At the guess of a simple hello
it can all begin
toward crying yourself to sleep,
wondering where the fuck
she is.

SEXUAL ACCIDENT
The sexual accident
that turned out to be your wife,
the mother of your children
and the end of our life, is home
cooking dinner for all your friends.

FUCK ME LIKE FRIED POTATOES
Fuck me like fried potatoes
on the most beautifully hungry
morning of my God-damn life.

THE CURVE OF FORGOTTEN THINGS
Things slowly curve out of sight
Until they are gone. Afterwards
Only the curve
Remains.

Over-the-counter DNA test signals the end for Maury

2008-04-15T04:45:00.000-07:00

No longer will people need to go on morning talk shows to find out who their babydaddy is!
New technology has now created an over the counter DNA testing kit!!
The Identigene DNA Testing Collection Kit is being sold at local drugstores.
Can you imagine how many great YouTube videos will come as a result of this???
The test is easy to administer. Both the child and suspected babydaddy just need to pass a cotton swab, included in the kit, along the inside of their cheek.
Currently, the kit is being sold at Rite Aid and Meijer stores and is located near the home pregnancy tests. And, if your local store doesn't carry the testing kits, you can also order them online!
Who do U think will be the next celeb that will have to purchase one?
Trailer parks across America are so happy with this new development!

Hillary Duff masturbates with scorpion and lil boys dreams do come true

2008-04-15T04:12:00.001-07:00

HILARY Duff has taken on a raunchy role in a new flick, shooting a provocative scene with a deadly scorpion and a man with his hand down her pants.
Duff, who will no doubt shed her good girl image after this naughty role, plays the part of a 'slutty' pop star in the John Cusack film, War, Inc.
Cusack handpicked the pretty star for the drama, which satirises war profiteers.
"She played a pop idol from central Asia. So, she was like a Hilary but not Hilary, because Hilary is so classy, but like a real, and I won't name names, but a real slutty pop star. ... Hilary is the opposite of that, of course. I think for her to play that, or to parody that, was really great," Cusack told MTV.

"I think probably people wouldn't know how talented she is. I mean, she's a great actress. I just spent the entire fall with her and she was a revelation every day. I don't think people know that yet, but they're gonna."
Hilary also reveals she was reluctant to play the part of a singer, in fear of being typecast, report MTV."He (agent) was like, 'I got this script, John Cusack wrote it,' " Duff told MTV. "And I was like, 'Really? That's awesome, I love John.' But then he says, 'But you'd have to play a pop star.' And I was like, 'Oh nooooooooooo. I don't want to play a pop star. I don't want to sing!' ""Nobody thought I could do anything different," she said. "It was tough for a while. I was stuck in this bubble of Hilary Duff, and no one was really taking a chance on me. So I was like, 'I'll just make the record, because I'm not going to do another movie like that.' I wanted to challenge myself or not do it."
Remember when she was a funny looking lil girl with a big moon-face grin and thick thighs and a chubby butt? Yeah, I'm not really sentimental. I haven't quite figured out why, but, Hillary Duff with a scorpion near her cooch is really flippin' hot. If you don't believe me, watch the clip.

This is a link for men only and it's boobiless

2008-04-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/
"Female anger is the weathervane of truth."-Dick Masterson
Yeah, all the men should check this out. It's almost as good as boobs.

Illicit Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape Sells For $1.5 Million

2008-04-14T11:56:00.000-07:00

A sex tape featuring Marilyn Monroe has been sold for $1.5 million, reports the New York Post. A copy of the 15 minute tape, filmed on 16mm film in the 50s, was was just sold to a New York businessman said Keya Morgan, the well known memorabilia collector who discovered the film and brokered its purchase.In the illicit copy of the steamy, still FBI-classified reel, the original blond bombshell performs oral sex on an unidentified man. She is seen on her knees in the black and white film, in front of a man whose face is just out of the shot. He never moves into the shot, indicating that he knew the camera was there, but Monroe..
..never looks at the lens, said Morgan, who saw the footage. Morgan said he discovered the film while doing research for a documentary on Monroe, after talking with a former FBI agent who told him about a confidential informant who tipped G-men to the existence of the film in the mid-'60s. The feds eventually confiscated the original footage, but not before the informant made a copy of it, which is what was just sold by his son, Morgan said.
According to documents, 'Former baseball star Joseph DiMaggio in the past had offered [the informant] $25,000 for this film, it being the only one in existence, but he refused the offer.' Morgan said, 'You see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe, she has the famous mole.She's smiling, she's very charming, she's very radiant, but she's known for being radiant. She moves away, and then it [the footage] stops.'Morgan has no plans to release the film. 'He's just going to lock it up. He said 'I'm not going to make a Paris Hilton out of her. I'm not going to sell it, out of respect.' '

Here is some vintage MM boobie vid.

Where are they now? Joanie Cunningham

2008-04-14T11:33:00.001-07:00

Here's a vid of Richie's lil sis doing things which, I'm sure, Fonzie would approve. I don't know what this is about. In fact, I watched with the sound down so as to not disturb my peace. She really looks like her girlfriend wears her out. Boy, she got real ugly.

Prom Boob Slip that I can't see

2008-04-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

Some dude posted this vid of a girl who almost shows her nip. I find it interesting that we put so much emphasis on things that we want to see. Usually things we hope to see are not as interesting as we imagined, like Britney's or Lindsay's vaginas or any Will Smith movie.

She's kind of a pretty girl. I hope she has fun at the prom or whatever.

Larry Clark - Punk Rebel

2008-04-14T07:12:00.000-07:00

Sex On Film : THE PUNK REBEL

Promiscuous Sex, Graphic Language, Drug Abuse And Some Violence. The reason behind the NC-17 rating that was slapped on Larry Clark's groundbreaking Kids (starring 20-year old Chloë Sevigny) sums up the popular perception that has met Clark's work. Following a career in photography, Clark crossed over to film by directing a Chris Isaac video. But it was his collaboration with Harmony Korine that led to Kids (1995) and confirmed his notoriety.

Undaunted by the criticism that Kids was exploitative and borderline kiddy porn, Clark again pushed the envelope with Ken Park, another unflinching look at teenage drug use and sexual exploration, this time with controversial scenes including autoerotic asphyxiation, incest and onscreen ejaculation. Destricted, a collection of shorts from some of the world's most provocative cinematic artists and directors, includes Clark's Impaled, an investigation into the sexual fantasies of Generation Y kids who have from a young age had access to porn through DVDs and the internet.

The Sexessentials: Kids, Ken Park, Wassup Rockers, Impaled (segment of Destricted)

You are regarded as being in the forefront of real sex in films...

I've been working for a long time, and I really started because I wanted to see things I couldn't see anywhere else. I came from the '50s, which was so repressed. There were so many things that couldn't be seen.

Why can't everybody see this?

We're all human. And that was one of the reasons I started. If I could have seen that work in other places I wouldn't have had to make it. Ken Park was supposed to be my first film, and it took a long time to get it made. So it's out there; you can go on eBay in America and get it from many different countries. And it will always be out there because of the Internet and DVDs. You can download it from the Internet.

Do you like any of today's porn?

I really do not like porn much at all — it's so overlit. If I was gonna make a porn I'd at least light the goddamn thing. Often the people who really watch porn are so influenced by it. Like Terry Richardson, the fashion photographer. He does work to make it look like porn. It's all overlit. It's awful. I know Terry. I like Terry. But the work is overlit. Aesthetically I don't like it. I'm not a big fan of porn just because you just see too much. Especially now, you see all the pimples and the reds spots, the razor burns where they've shaved themselves. It's just so unerotic for me, but I guess if you grow up with it, it becomes erotic for these kids. But that's just me. I'm an old guy.

Do you like any older porn then, '70s stuff?

The first porn I ever saw was when I was a kid. Once in a while somebody would have an 8mm projector and a loop, a 4 or 5 minute loop. That was the first porn I ever saw, which was amazing to see. And as a matter of fact, when I was a kid they had these things called 8-page Tijuana bibles, which were cartoons. You'd see Popeye or other cartoon characters fucking. You know, like Superman. When Deep Throat and The Devil in Miss Jones and those original '70s porns came out, it was quite interesting because you'd never seen anything like that, and it wasn't overlit like it is now. But it was more interesting aesthetically that way, and today it's people fucking on the sand and you see sand in the dick and going into the cunt and everybody's shaved and it's just so unerotic for me.

On one hand we see a lot more porn than we used to, but on the other the climate seems to be stricter. What is that about?

That's about our fucking Republicans and our fucking President and the fucking government and the Administration. That's about the climate in America, which in my lifetime, I mean, you've seen Eisenhower and Truman, who were very, very conservative: white picket fences and mom's apple pie. And then it was so restricted. So conservative. And then the '60s it swung a whole 'nother way. The pendulum starts here and goes all the way back. Everybody thought the '60s, that was it, but that turned out to be an aberration, and then it started swinging back, and now we're at the worst point. And then it's hopefully it'll swing back because this guy in the White House is the biggest jerk... it's ridiculous.

With Destricted, what were you aiming to show and did it meet your expectations?

Everything in the film is exactly what I wanted. The premise was that anybody born after 1980 has complete access to pornography. It's everywhere. You can't escape it, kids at a very early age see it — how does this effect what they think about sex when it's way too early? What do they think sex is, and how does pornography shapes [their ideas]? And then everything else was documentary and an educational film for me because I didn't know. I had no idea this was going on.

What did you want to show about the mindset of the guy in Impaled?

At the end, he seems shattered by his experience.I don't think he was shattered or disturbed. I think he was just thinking about it. At the end he just realizes the reality of it — which is quite different from his fantasies. People watch porn and they fantasize about these porn actresses and then the reality is different. But I had no idea — I swear to God. I set it up and this is what happened. I was seeing it too for the first time. I didn't try to do anything except set the premise, and of course the prize was you get to have sex with a porn actress.

Do you think the difference from those early porn films is that they looked as though they were really enjoying it, really having fun. But do you get the sense that they are commodities now?

Nancy Vee [in Destricted] is just incredible. She was a big porno actress, I guess, 20 years ago. Very famous. Robert Lombard, the line producer on Destricted, brought in the porn actresses. He brought in Nancy too. [She] really [got] into it; she's really got it down. It really is erotic, the sounds she's making, the way she's acting. She's a great little actress. He's fucking her like crazy and then she just says: "Can I have some lube?" And then gets the lube and is immediately back into it. It was just so real. [But] the reality of doing it as opposed to fantasizing about it all the time [is not the same]. I find a lot of kids now are fantasizing about anal. I saw Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle on TV the other night, and there's such a great line in it that I fell out of my chair and laughed for ten minutes. They meet this girl and she says "You can both do me," and Kumar says, "Shotgun anal!" — because kids say "shotgun" meaning dibs or first. The funniest fucking line of all time!

Do you think this film is a qualification of the teenage male psyche?

It was a bunch of kids. They were all different. I don't know if this reflects a wide, wide spectrum or not. An American critic has said that maybe a more appropriate title would have been Coming of Age in Southern California, [like the] Margaret Mead book [Coming of Age in Samoa].

Do you think Destricted was an extension of Ken Park, which was pushing cinematic boundaries?

That was sex in a different way. Those kids were not getting anything from adults. None of their needs were filled by the adult world, and so they had nothing — the only thing they had was each other, their peers. And when you're a young teenager and adults don't understand and the world doesn't understand that you're not getting what you need — if you don't have your friends you might commit suicide. And so the idea was to have these kids come together and maybe have sex in the best way and maybe have redemption or temporary salvation. And it really works in the film because people come out of Ken Park saying that the scene at the end of the three kids having sex is uplifting and makes them feel good and maybe these kids will be okay. That was my idea to end the film, and the problem making it work. And it really works. Destricted is totally different. This film is about pornography and the effect on children.

Were you irritated by the way that Ken Park was distributed?

I'll tell you what happened. The film was released all over the world and was very successful, except in the UK and America. We had a producer, Kees Kasander, who said everything was released and it was not released. There was music that wasn't cleared. There was some other stuff that wasn't cleared that he had guaranteed us that would clear. I have e-mails and everything. It was almost impossible to clear but I got cleared, and then the son of a bitch didn't pay for it. And so then after 6 or 8 months the deal was off. So this son of a bitch fucked up getting the film released in America and the UK... The guy fucked up the film and everybody should know that this guy can't be trusted. He's a fucking liar. And that's what happened to Ken Park. It wasn't a question of censorship. Now having said that, if everything was cleared then maybe there would have been big censorship problems, but we never got that far. No one can ever cut a frame out of Ken Park. If a country has to edit it to show it, then they can't show it. Tough shit. No one can edit. I'm a final-cut director, and nobody can ever change my films.

Are you discouraged by the fact that the audience you're trying to reach is the youth audience, which is made difficult by prohibitive U.S. laws?

It is a frustration, but with DVDs, everybody sees it anyway. And especially if you tell kids they can't see something, they're gonna see it. They see pornography, as you see in Destricted. Kids [should've been] an R-rated movie. There's nothing in that film that isn't R-rated, but because it portrays kids, we didn't get a rating. That was unrated. We got a NC-17, which we didn't accept, so it was unrated. So kids can't see that film, [but] every kid in America has seen that film — every generation.

How do you feel about what all these guys in Destricted said in your interviews?

I was shocked, man, extremely shocked. And I wonder if teenagers will see that and then be influenced by them. It was interesting — especially the thing about pulling out. If kids see that they think that's the way to do it. It's as simple as that. That's what you do: you fuck and you pull out and you cum on the girl. That's the way to have sex, and if you think that's the way then you start doing that, and then you get used to doing that way and these kids got used to it, and now that's the way they do it. To me, that's totally amazing. It's so weird. And the thing about shaving your pubic hair is amazing to me, too, because when you're a kid pubic hair is the greatest thing in the world. Everybody loves their pubic hair. You can't wait to get pubic hair, and these kids, very young kids, are shaving their pubic hair. But that's the effect of pornography. I don't know. Life imitates art. Or life imitates pornography.

So where is the tipping point between art and pornography?

I can tell the difference. But it's an interesting question because artists can take pornography and turn it into [art]. I mean, look what Richard Prince does. He was the guy that started appropriating in the '80s. Richard take '80s porn and appropriates it and does things with it. So you can make art out of anything. It's all about the artist doing it.

But could pornography be art?

Yeah, I would consider my film is art because I'm an artist and I made it and it works.

Karl RozemeyerPremiere MagazineApril 10, 2008

Eddie Murpy turning 50. WOW!

2008-04-14T04:44:00.001-07:00

Eddie Murphy is 50 years-old and the old fag seems to be holding up. I realize he hasn't been funny in 20 years, ever since he stopped portraying himself as the underdog in films. That's the problem; he was obviously over-compensating for his missing machismo in the 90's. Every movie he made until recently had him trying to present himself as some kinda hip ladies-man.

Come on, Eddie, that's not what we signed on for. The Point:

After 30 years of seeing him wear the official uniform of "closet-queens", the leather suit, you would think that people wouldn't have a hard time understanding that Eddie is no "ladies man".

Hopefully, this video of Eddie dissing his mom's hamburgers will serve as a reminder of what a great comedic talent he once was. Enjoy!

Xavier Rudd is Awesome and You Probably Didn't Know Until I Told You

2008-04-14T04:07:00.000-07:00

Don't know much about this guy. Saw him on Kimmel one night and thought, " This guy is fuckin' amazing." Then I procured all of his music and found out, as usual, I was right. Here's a pic of him blowing a bamboo-snouted beast from the wilds of New Zealand.

His new album is "White Moth". If you like honest music in any form, this is it. I'm sure this would appeal to all the lemmings and wannabes that insist on calling Jack Johnson an "innovative" artist. I mean, nothing against Jack Johnson but he's so consumable. I suggest that you go out and purchase some xavier rudd or, if not, kill yourself.

Are you the guys that kill fags? or some other moron shit.

2008-04-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

Went to a BBQ festival and encountered a group of crazy christian fundamentalists with these pretty signs.

Imagine my surprise as I was revelling in the festivites surrounding this joyous celebration of man's ability to dominate the earth's creatures and smoke them, when turning the corner, mutton sandwhich in hand, sheep fat dripping on my chin, I run smack-dab into a melee. There was trouble a-brewing between some High School kids and the 'fundies.
I knew how to diffuse the situation. I'd ingratiate myself to the inbred fundies. In my best hillbilly twang, "Is this the place we go to kill fags?"

Uh-oh! That didn't go over too well; better try another tactic.

Too bad. Nothing works for these morons. The "good" Christians ended up challenging me to a fight. I backed down.
They had the lord on their side. I'd hate to have a 2000 year-old jew after me. He would have to be pissed about the rate of inflation. What's the exchange rate on shekels?

I didn't know it at the time, but looking back on the pic, I'm assuming they were saying that our government subsidizes abortions. I think it's a great system; the government pays to kill them before they were born, then any that were missed get taken care of by christian fundamentalists and their wrathful god afterwards. And it's all done in the name of god and country. Amen

Mike Doughty Droppin' Golden Delicious on Unsuspecting Consumers Without Taste

2008-04-13T18:26:00.000-07:00

Mike Doughty was the mastermind behind the trippy 90's alternative band, Soul Coughing. His unique voice and vision are continuing to be represented through his awesome recordings and performances. If you are not already listening to him, then you need to ask yourself, "why?"

Here's a video of him performing "The Only Answer" live@ Mexicali Blues, Teaneck, NJ 12/16/06. Enjoy! and when you're done; go buy his cd.

http://mikedoughty.shop.musictoday.com/Product.aspx?cp=192_2340&pc=DOCD08

britney's skank hole is somehow more erotic than other hollywood party girls

2008-04-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

Maybe someone else can appreciate this. Honestly, it was like eight years I spent thinking about just such an event. Admittedly, I was wearing latex and being punished in most of these thoughts, but at least Brit's vag made an appearance. I guess I could say something about her being a bad mother or a drug addict or a bad driver. Really, a pic is worth a thousand words. Brit, I don't care if you are any of those things; I'd let you lead me down a path of self-destruction in a heart beat.

Let's do meth and ignore your children. Spank me. I'm in latex. Muah!

Britney's Vag Appears in Virgin Mary Image

2008-04-13T17:49:00.001-07:00

I told you the only reason I'm doing this is cuz I wanted an excuse to post weird pics. This is some dude's elbow looking alot like some pics I saw of Lindsay Lohan a coupla years ago.

Maybe I should rename this post. Ah, fuck it. Britney's skank hole is somehow more erotic than other drug-addicted Hollywood party girls.

The last "smiling face" or McDonald's "shoot-first" policy...

2008-04-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

I know she's not really smiling, but she was nice. Have you ever tried to take a pic of someone working a fast-food drive-thru? It gets treated like a bomb-threat. They come screaming, "Shut it off! Shut it off!" It's totally fuckin' ridiculous. This fine lady was kind enough to let me take two pics.

The Point?

I love McDonald's Chocolate Milkshakes!!!

Loved them since I was a kid.

I ordered one just the other day. Got it at the drive-thru and couldn't wait to get home and taste the chocolatey goodness. Yum to the yum.

Shock! Holy crap!

Can you imagine my surprise when the first sip turned out to be strawberry? Strawberry milkshakes suck. I had no choice; I paid two bucks for the damn thing, figured I would just take it back. I was sure it wouldn't be a problem to exchange something that I didn't order for the thing I did order.

Sadly, that's not so. It seems that because of McDonald's "dehumanizing" corporate policies, they have implemented a "shoot-first" mentality. It would be way to difficult for McD's to hire real people and encourage them to make creative decisions based on any unique situation (I'm not saying food returns in a restaurant are unique situations).

Here's the point:

After the young "associate" was informed of the situation in regards to her giving me something other than what I paid for; she went back to discuss this delicate situation with whom I was assuming was her manager.

Then I figured something was really getting done. But, wait, why not just allow the "associate" or "manager trainee" or anyone to correct the mistake and give me the chocolate shake.

I was wondering what the problem was; I mean, I had a receipt. I had a strawberry shake minus a single sip.

After a few minutes the manager finally arrived...but she didn't look willing to correct her mistake. No, she was on the phone. She must be talking to Mayor McCheese. I know he could've straightened it out.

Then from out of the blue, the manager looks at me with a fearful expression and says, "I'm on the phone with the police. Do you want to be here when they get here?"

No.

The good news is that McDonald's sent me coupons for two free meals after I complained. They had promised four coupons over the phone. Oh well. I still made out pretty good.

milkshake -$2 (I didn't actually drink it because I hate strawberry shakes but I did have it in my posession)

45 minutes on my cell phone -$? (I was already over for the month)

30 minute round-trip to Mcdonald's -$5 (gas is very expensive)

subtract my time and energy. then subtract the humiliation of having my kids see a 30 year-old high school drop-out threaten me for asking for a milkshake.

Anyway, you get the picture. The two coupons didn't mean shit and it was an insult.

McDonald's, Fuck You!

titty dancers

2008-04-13T15:40:00.000-07:00

The only reasons I started this blog was to post offensive pics and make rude comments without having to show my face. With that being said, let's see what we can come up with.

The picture to the left is "beef-curtains" a local thong contest loser. She was disqualified for showing too much flesh. What's this world coming to, when a contestant in a "flesh-baring" contest is dq'ed for baring flesh?

The system is fucking you, "beef-curtains". That's why it is so important that you relish your 15 minutes. Your big vag lips are peeking at the universe, aided by the wonders of technology and little ol' me. Your star is shining bright tonight.

ugly kid uses superior intellect to woo toddler

2008-04-13T13:28:00.001-07:00

this is the ugly kid

QUINCY, Fla. — The 19-year-old man authorities say helped a 12-year-old central Florida girl he met on the Internet run away from home is in police custody.
Police in the northern city of Quincy say Tiffany Tyson was found Friday at the home of James Lynch. Authorities say Linch had driven about 270 miles to pick her up at her home in Port St. John in central Florida.

Linch has been arrested on a warrant from Brevard County on a charge of interference with child custody.
Tyson was last seen leaving her home Thursday morning. Her mother found a note saying she had left with Linch.

can racial harmony ever exist? or I wonder what will be the child's "official" second-language

2008-04-13T13:21:00.000-07:00

A couple can't agree on which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join.
A fight about the decision led to a public disturbance with the father's arrest. Joseph Manzanares went to the video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays, police told KMGH Denver.
Police arrested Manzanares at his home, Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval told KMGH Denver.
The girlfriend told authorities they were fighting over which gang their son should join. The girlfriend, who is black, is a member of the Crips while Manzanares, who is Hispanic, belongs to the Westside Ballers.
"They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised," Sandoval said. "Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim.'"

white gov't sanctioned sexual repression forces black man to grope women

2008-04-13T13:17:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK — About two weeks after he was released from prison, Freddie Johnson boarded a crowded subway train during morning rush hour in Manhattan, squeezed in behind a woman and ground his pelvis into her backside, authorities said.
It is a fairly common crime on subways in New York. But this was no common criminal.
Johnson has been arrested a staggering 53 times — the majority for groping women on the subway, police and prosecutors said.
In the latest incident, Johnson was being followed by plainclothes officers who recognized him from police photos, authorities said. He was charged with persistent sexual abuse, and if convicted this time, he could be sent away for life. The district attorney's office branded him a "recidivist transit grinder" at a court hearing earlier this week.
But the fact that Johnson was roaming the subways in the first place has raised questions about how the state deals with the problem of repeat sex offenders. His case even drew the scorn of a newspaper editorial this week that labeled Johnson the "Subway Rat."
His attorney, Afsi Khot, had no comment on the case, as is practice with Legal Aid attorneys.
/**/

Johnson, a registered sex offender, has been convicted at least twice of persistent sexual abuse within the last decade, prosecutors said. And he has a lengthy rap sheet, with 30 arrests for sex abuse, 13 for jostling and two for grand larceny, police said.
He was released from prison on March 25 after serving four years for persistent sexual abuse, according to correctional records. The state attorney general's office had argued that the 49-year-old should be confined under the state's civil commitment law for sex offenders, which went into effect last year, because he was at risk for repeat offenses.
But a Manhattan Supreme Court Judge disagreed and instead placed Johnson on strict court-ordered supervision and electronic monitoring.
Whether he should have been confined speaks to a larger issue about what authorities should do with criminals who are habitual offenders, but aren't violent.
Around half of all so-called exhibitionists like Johnson are repeat offenders, experts say. Exhibitionists have the highest rate of re-offense of all sex crimes, but there isn't much crossover into more egregious acts like rape or assault, said Elizabeth Jeglic, a professor of treatment and rehabilitation of offenders at John Jay College of Criminal Justice.
"Exhibitionism is disturbing, but in the larger scheme you want to commit the people who are grabbing kids off the street, or the rapist in Central Park," Jeglic said.
The goal of the Sex Offender Management and Treatment Act that went into effect last April is to protect society by keeping the most dangerous sex offenders off the streets and provide long-term treatment to ensure they don't repeat their crimes. To qualify, a criminal must have a "mental abnormality," and be "predisposed" to repeat the offense, prosecutors said.
Out of 1,299 sex offenders initially referred to the program in New York, 163 have been recommended for civil commitment, according to a report earlier this year by the state Office of Mental Health. Under the program, sex offenders are committed, treated, monitored and eventually discharged.
While it's painful for the victim no matter the crime, the system doesn't have room to deal with all offenders.
Currently, 10 percent of sex abuse cases are referred as possibilities for the program, on par with other states that have similar laws, the health department report said. It costs more than $100,000 per person per year to confine them. And there is currently bed space for 181 offenders at three facilities around the state. The development of 150 beds is under way, but it's obvious there will be shortfalls unless long-term projects are developed. Only 5 percent of those committed to the 19 other state programs in the country have been released.
Jeglic said New Jersey, where a similar law has been in place for about a decade, has run out of beds for offenders.
Either way, Johnson may end up behind bars for good if he's convicted in the latest incident, because the Manhattan district attorney's office said it will push for more serious punishment given his rap sheet. That means he could get up to life in prison. If he's convicted solely on the most recent charges, he could face four years.
A survey released last summer by the Manhattan borough president's office on sexual harassment in the subways found that 63 percent of those responding reported they were harassed in some way, whether it was random groping, lewd comments or unwanted advances. The report was compiled from 1,790 responses collected from New York City straphangers in all five boroughs.

white gov't forces black teen to kill his identical twin

2008-04-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

COLUMBUS, Ohio — The death of Dennis Lewis was shocking enough: The National Honor Society student and marching band member was shot in his bedroom while masked robbers held a gun on his mother in another room.
Then police arrested his identical twin, an advanced placement student also active in their high school band. Authorities are accusing Derris Lewis of taking part in the attack and being an accomplice in his brother's death, saying his bloody palm print was found in the bedroom where Dennis was killed.
The family, crushed by the death of one twin, is adamant the other is innocent.
"There's no way, shape or form that my brother was even in that house," said the boys' older sister, Diane Lewis, who lives two doors from where the shooting happened. "He would never put my mom in harm's way whatsoever — she didn't raise killers or criminals."
Derris is charged in juvenile court with being an accomplice to aggravated murder, aggravated robbery and kidnapping. Because he turned 18 two weeks after the shooting, prosecutors are seeking to have him charged as an adult.
Authorities won't say what Derris Lewis is accused of doing. They say the motive that night was robbery but won't elaborate.
/**/

"There were multiple people that entered and anyone who entered the premise is an accomplice," said Franklin County Prosecutor Ron O'Brien.
Derris Lewis' public defender, Libby Hall, declined to comment.
The attack happened just after midnight on Jan. 18 in a tough neighborhood of small homes on the city's north side.
The twins' mother, April Agee, was asleep on a couch in the front room of her house, the only place she could lie comfortably because of her multiple sclerosis and cerebral palsy.
Dennis was asleep in the next room with the door shut. Derris had moved out a few weeks earlier and was staying with his girlfriend elsewhere in the city.
Agee says several men wearing black masks, white shirts and white sneakers entered the house, put a gun to her head, demanded money and asked who else was in the house.
"They kept saying 'Where's the money, where's the money,' with a .45 up to my head," Agee recalled at her daughter's home. She doesn't know who the men were.
"I couldn't do nothing but be still. God say 'Be still,' and I was, but my son started fighting them," she said.
Agee, 47, said one of the men kicked Dennis' bedroom door in and struggled with him. She heard someone yell "He's too strong," then the sound of a gun shot.
The family says there was no forced entry. They don't know if the front door was locked before Dennis and his mother went to bed that night.
The robbers did not take $235 in cash in an envelope in Dennis' room, money he was saving to visit Florida State University, which he planned to attend.
The family believes police made a mistake with the palm print.
Derris' prints were in the room because he had lived there until recently, Diane Lewis said.
And she recalled there was blood everywhere in the destruction of the bedroom. "It was Dennis' blood on top of Derris' print," she said, her voice rising.
Unlike DNA, fingerprints can differentiate between identical twins. "It is well established that identical twins can and do have different fingerprints," said professor Jay Siegel, director of the forensic and investigative sciences program at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis.
The twins' father left when they were 2. Their mother does not work because of her disabilities and gets by on government assistance.
In school, teachers called the boys two peas in a pod.
At East High School, Dennis played the trombone in the marching band; Derris is the lead drum major. Both ran track, played volleyball and tennis. Last fall, Derris played the wizard in the school's production of "The Wiz" and Dennis played the scarecrow. Both were head cashiers at a Giant Eagle grocery store.
They sang the gospel song "I Told the Storm" at a ninth-grade talent contest. Derris and a cousin sang the song at his brother's funeral.
After Dennis died, Derris moved in with his sister to help care for their mother. Diane Lewis said her brother was distraught and didn't talk much about what happened. He got up early each morning to see a teacher who was helping him prepare for his college advanced placement test.
He was charged Feb. 13. He took the advanced placement test in jail, while awaiting an April 30 hearing. He's tutoring other boys and hoping to get out in time to graduate June 5. He plans to attend Ohio State University.
The family wants to know why no one else has been arrested.
"We cannot grieve over Dennis because they took Derris," said the boys' aunt, Paula Lewis, now a full-time caretaker for her sister. "He's an innocent child. We miss him. We love him. We just want him home."

evading responsibities since 1863?

2008-04-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

I'm proud to be black but I like it when photogs lighten my skin and tone down my afrocentric features because it fools you into believing I'm not bitter like most other black people, then, when you least expect it: I speak like a typical moron.

Most celebrities are surrounded and coddled by a pit crew of PR people, because most celebrities in real life are mentally unstable basket cases who are so painfully oblivious to reality that they need constant supervision. Otherwise, they agree to be interviewed by Blender Magazine and say stuff like this:

The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: "'Gangsta rap' was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. 'Gangsta rap' didn't exist." Keys, 27, said she's read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck "to symbolize strength, power and killing 'em dead," according to an interview in the magazine's May issue, on newsstands Tuesday. Another of her theories: The bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing."

Keys' AK-47 jewelry came as a surprise to her mother, who is quoted as telling Blender: "She wears what? That doesn't sound like Alicia." Keys' publicist, Theola Borden, said Keys was on vacation and unavailable for comment.Though she's known for her romantic tunes, she told Blender that she wants to write more political songs. If black leaders such as the late Black Panther Huey Newton "had the outlets our musicians have today, it'd be global. I have to figure out a way to do it myself," she said.The multiplatinum songstress behind the hits "Fallin'" and "No One" most recently had success with her latest CD, "As I Am," which sold millions.

Hmm, I may have to go back and listen to my Ice-T CDs again, because I'm pretty sure he said something about a Mac-10 and killing cops. And I might be mistaken, but I don't think NWA was originally a vocal harmony group before they caved in to government pressure. Man, it must be nice to be like Alicia Keys and read something then instantly believe it's true. That would be cool. Yeah, like when someone says Alicia Keys is a bigoted moron.